I guess I could only say I dislike him because I’ve prayed for the last 11 years that he could end my life or give me cancer so I could die before morning and that never happened.. leaving me here to figure out a way to die on my own.
I thought if I prayed to him for a way out that he would take my life
It never worked but I’ve been begging and pleading forever now.
Yeah I learned you can’t sit around thinking death will come to you like loving friend
He’s more like a friend you like that hates you and never comes until it is too late
Therefore you can’t pray for death and expect something to happen
You have to go and do it yourself in any way possible
That is why I know every method available to me and can choose one at any time that is convenient
I know how to hide my methods
Adults can do as they see fit with their own life
I have been praying to die for the last NINE years. It may not be as long as you, but it’s almost as long SO I may have SOMEWHAT of an idea what it’s like.
I gained proper motivation when girl I like molested me in late 2014 and then I was raped in early 2016 by a man and another girl i like molested me in 2016 and then right after she molested me, I got my license taken away for a year (I live in my car it is my only safe shelter)
So then I overdosed
And then a guy raped me this year
I just needed a gun after that first occurrence
And I had one but it was taken before I could use it for its rightful purpose
That was before I was raped the first time
But it’s not even about those things
I was going to kill myself before all this
But that is what keeps my remaining days completely miserable
Wow I was going through some sort of State when I wrote that comment I just stumbled on your reply and wow I’m very sorry to hear that I was only almost raped by two older woman when I was 17 in the streets at night when I went for a walk I cannot explain how scared I was but I managed to get out such crazy people even though I was assaulted but not completely still have me stress for a while I cannot imagine what I would be or how I would feel if they actually completely raped me I told the police officer who lived in my building about it he told me that they do that so they can rob you and they humiliate you at the same time I was like WTF that’s NYC for you anyways living in the car is wow how the hell do you get by? Showering or eating ahhhh I’m getting there to slowly as well
I am so saddened by your misery. I just wish you could understand that true happiness can erase any trace of past suffering.
🙁
After you said that you have been praying to die for so many years, I already have in mind an image of hell where people are so tortured that they pray to die. This is so sad and horrifying.
But I still feel compassion for their souls.
If a poor human being like me can feel compassion, I am sure that the supreme creator of the universe can do that, too at an exponential level…
I am sure about that even if I don’t know why you suffer so much.
couple of years ago
I used to hate a certain person
never realized how wrong I was
until I got to really know her & understand her…
I didn’t only stop hating her
I started to love her as the beautiful person she really is
I’m afraid to answer I’m so scared of god that hating him or even typing it could cause my pain to double than what it is right now. But you probably already no my answer than.
I don’t want to believe in god, everything that god promises is after death, whether it’s an afterlife or reincarnation, only promises more pain, more suffering.
I don’t want to believe he exists, but if he does, I hate him with all my soul.
I was praying for death since I was 17, asking God to end my life. Because this doesn’t worked, I cursed God, was so desperate to stop suffering… (Job 2,9: “… curse God, and die. “)
I wished to be dead for the first time when I was 4 years old. My father was always an alcoholic, and my mother had to leave him to save her life and ours.
I was very upset with God.
After so many years wishing this, I just don’t want anymore to die… Why should I wish to die?!
Because of my alcoholic father, or because of all this bunch of barbie girls who rejected me, or because of my ex-fiance which is a w…e?
My friend and neighbor killed himself after discovering that his girlfriend was cheating on him. Was in the same time when my fiance lived me.
I’m very sorry for him, just because this is not right!
We are not the weeks here, doesn’t matter which is your story, probably you are just full of all this things like I am.
I will not hate God because of all this people who made me feel like a looser. I just want to start over, have new friends who can help me, not killing me.
Does god really exist? that is the question and if so I would ask him why did he make me so inferior compared to everyone else.Why did he make me unhappy? Why do people hate me? Why was I born the person I am? Why? So many questions
@Cause of Death: Suicide- you’ve NEVER cursed god? I have cursed him at least 10000000000000000000000000 times in my life. Literally more times than I can even count!
20 comments
I guess I could only say I dislike him because I’ve prayed for the last 11 years that he could end my life or give me cancer so I could die before morning and that never happened.. leaving me here to figure out a way to die on my own.
I thought if I prayed to him for a way out that he would take my life
It never worked but I’ve been begging and pleading forever now.
Tried this too.. Doesn’t work, so we have to do it on our own
Yeah I learned you can’t sit around thinking death will come to you like loving friend
He’s more like a friend you like that hates you and never comes until it is too late
Therefore you can’t pray for death and expect something to happen
You have to go and do it yourself in any way possible
That is why I know every method available to me and can choose one at any time that is convenient
I know how to hide my methods
Adults can do as they see fit with their own life
I’m so sorry
I have been praying to die for the last NINE years. It may not be as long as you, but it’s almost as long SO I may have SOMEWHAT of an idea what it’s like.
I’ve tried that didn’t work out for me. I too am on my own and I just gained the proper motivation to end it
I gained proper motivation when girl I like molested me in late 2014 and then I was raped in early 2016 by a man and another girl i like molested me in 2016 and then right after she molested me, I got my license taken away for a year (I live in my car it is my only safe shelter)
So then I overdosed
And then a guy raped me this year
I just needed a gun after that first occurrence
And I had one but it was taken before I could use it for its rightful purpose
That was before I was raped the first time
But it’s not even about those things
I was going to kill myself before all this
But that is what keeps my remaining days completely miserable
Wow I was going through some sort of State when I wrote that comment I just stumbled on your reply and wow I’m very sorry to hear that I was only almost raped by two older woman when I was 17 in the streets at night when I went for a walk I cannot explain how scared I was but I managed to get out such crazy people even though I was assaulted but not completely still have me stress for a while I cannot imagine what I would be or how I would feel if they actually completely raped me I told the police officer who lived in my building about it he told me that they do that so they can rob you and they humiliate you at the same time I was like WTF that’s NYC for you anyways living in the car is wow how the hell do you get by? Showering or eating ahhhh I’m getting there to slowly as well
Yeah I learned nothing is done for you so you have to do it yourself
I am so saddened by your misery. I just wish you could understand that true happiness can erase any trace of past suffering.
🙁
After you said that you have been praying to die for so many years, I already have in mind an image of hell where people are so tortured that they pray to die. This is so sad and horrifying.
But I still feel compassion for their souls.
If a poor human being like me can feel compassion, I am sure that the supreme creator of the universe can do that, too at an exponential level…
I am sure about that even if I don’t know why you suffer so much.
Even angels can cry.
Don’t you know that happiness is a warm gun?
– The Beatles
couple of years ago
I used to hate a certain person
never realized how wrong I was
until I got to really know her & understand her…
I didn’t only stop hating her
I started to love her as the beautiful person she really is
I truly wish you that same realization
<3
I’m afraid to answer I’m so scared of god that hating him or even typing it could cause my pain to double than what it is right now. But you probably already no my answer than.
Know*
I don’t want to believe in god, everything that god promises is after death, whether it’s an afterlife or reincarnation, only promises more pain, more suffering.
I don’t want to believe he exists, but if he does, I hate him with all my soul.
I was praying for death since I was 17, asking God to end my life. Because this doesn’t worked, I cursed God, was so desperate to stop suffering… (Job 2,9: “… curse God, and die. “)
I wished to be dead for the first time when I was 4 years old. My father was always an alcoholic, and my mother had to leave him to save her life and ours.
I was very upset with God.
After so many years wishing this, I just don’t want anymore to die… Why should I wish to die?!
Because of my alcoholic father, or because of all this bunch of barbie girls who rejected me, or because of my ex-fiance which is a w…e?
My friend and neighbor killed himself after discovering that his girlfriend was cheating on him. Was in the same time when my fiance lived me.
I’m very sorry for him, just because this is not right!
We are not the weeks here, doesn’t matter which is your story, probably you are just full of all this things like I am.
I will not hate God because of all this people who made me feel like a looser. I just want to start over, have new friends who can help me, not killing me.
Thank you for sharing the prayer. I have never insulted god. I have said “God dammit” said his name in vain and said that “God hates me”
But never cursed
So I just nonchalantly said “fuck you god”
Crossing my fingers
Does god really exist? that is the question and if so I would ask him why did he make me so inferior compared to everyone else.Why did he make me unhappy? Why do people hate me? Why was I born the person I am? Why? So many questions
No… but I don’t believe in God
@Cause of Death: Suicide- you’ve NEVER cursed god? I have cursed him at least 10000000000000000000000000 times in my life. Literally more times than I can even count!