I’m new here.

  November 26th, 2017 by imlost93

Im so glad I found a place where I could release all of my thoughts , and not be forced to just let keep things inside. I’m 24 years old, I have 1 kid. I lived alone once upon a time, work a ft job while my son attends Daycare. The father isn’t in the picture . Now, my mother has moved in and I also have a boyfriend that lives with me. Before they moved in I felt sad, alone and depressed, which is why I agreed to have them here. Now I feel even more alone, down, lost and depressed. I feel like me and my mom can’t get along for shit. I hate the relationship that her and I have . I really want a better relationship with her, but my attitude just won’t let it happen I guess. My boyfriend is great. I mean he’s more of a man than anyone else I’ve ever dated. I don’t trust him though. And I’m trying to build my trust with him, though it’s very hard. There’s been 2 times where he was talking to another female, and I forgave him. Because of that .. I feel like he’s becoming annoyed with me every time I’m asking him whose he texting, and why is it taking so long to check the weather on his phone and blah blah blah!! I hate to be this way. I have a brother in prison, I do everything for him. I have a younger brother who is kinda distant.. I don’t blame him. Idk my father. I was molested by my mothers old boyfriend of 16+ years about 5 years ago or so. I feel like I’m loosing myself.. I don’t care for myself anymore, kinda just let myself go. I’m becoming addicted to pain killers. They make my feelings, and bad thoughts to a complete 360.. so they really help. Though I’m out now, which is probably 9/10 why I’m here. I feel alone, lost, and desperate. I hate my thoughts. When I get angry… I get ANGRY. Takes a lot to calm me down. I have 2 friends, they’re sorta distant though. I could careless though, as I’m a loner kinda .

Thanks for listening.

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