When I was Gay…

  December 14th, 2017 by lunachild

When I was four

My mom would squeeze me into a suffocating dress

With ruffles that would make me itch

Like pins and needles jabbing from every stitch

Until I ripped it off without a sigh

While a tear rolled down my eye


When I was seven

My mom would paint my nails

Colors of a blooming flower

And for that hour

She would restrain my small hand

Becoming as rough as the sand

Until it became dislocated limb

One I could never put back in


When I was nine

My mom would make me play with Daisy

She would give me a death stare and act crazy

Since I took a while to pick up the Barbie just like Daisy

And so I hid

On the field with the guys

It felt right with only them by my side


When I was fourteen

My mom would tease me

About my best friend

Who would never leave me

More alike than any two

But we were torn apart by the unspoken truth

That he liked her and I liked her too


When I was sixteen

My mom would slap me

Whenever she caught me staring

She was just so beautiful

It was all so overbearing
She would work at the cash register

From five to eight

Which my Mom would truly hate


When I was seventeen

I had my first kiss

It was happy and all

Until I slit my wrist


(My mom saw us kissing

She screamed and she yelled

Shoving me into the house

Where it all went down

She got out her bible

And made me pray

To never tell anybody about this day

And so I told myself

I could no longer stay.)

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