Years ago, I woke up one day without a fear of my own choices or actions. I didn’t feel time. I didn’t know what age was. Age was just a number that silently reminded everyone of another year that gets us closer to our death.
Hearing the number “24” is nothing to an even older person. It’s as if the youth evaporates into the sky when our age consumes our identity. So, if “24” is nothing then when will we become something? At what age will we start to exist in this world? When will the youth be able to stretch their legs out without the dysfunctional manipulation of society constantly destroying our minds with overwhelming trash that should be the ultimate less of a worry in our everyday lives?
When someone says, “time flies” it is no joke, it literally flies right on by. Facing life a day at a time and building experiences every moment you open your eyes. Building up loads and loads of stories that involve yourself and your actual life. I have experienced many struggles but I strongly believe that pain cannot be compared whatsoever. Everyone deals with hard situations in a different way.
In other words, if I breathe in and out to pace my stressed out heart during a difficult life situation, others can suppress what is going on with their strung-out heart and build up tension and trauma. The pain builds up and tears apart those who do not understand how to control or cope with their struggles. But that is okay! Not all of us are fortunate to just get up and learn to meditate our thoughts and practice understanding our own minds and triggers. I wasn’t able to do what I do now until like a few months ago. I am still learning til this day.
I am not trying to say that I have always been great at understanding my own thoughts and triggers, but I wanted to make it clear that it isn’t impossible to get to that point.
Bit of background: I have PTSD, Anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder and eating disorders. I still struggle every day but learn something new about myself every day as well. I have had suicidal tendencies and still struggle against my own demons, I even remember when I strongly believed I would never make it out of the darkest hole I was buried in. Nothing beats all the terrible, endless, empty thoughts like tearing them apart with standing up and saying, “ENOUGH!” because it is time.
It isn’t supposed to be easy, but no one can stop you from turning your life around. Silencing those who have talked down to you is the first step. Next step, is silencing your own burdening demons. Courage becomes your middle name and faith becomes your last. Your first name stands as your own because YOU have COURAGE and the ability to sustain and water your FAITH.
You are a beautiful flower in this ridiculously large world. You color the world’s emptiness and white and black. You have a purpose and that is to sprout that beauty along every terrace that traces the edges of the world. Travel, breathe fresh air and find yourself. That is truly what is going to help you spread your wings and fulfill your dreams. Because you can!
Remember, silence your demons and fight against them. Walk along the dark forest with a smile and watch the sun pull you out of the crowd of demons trying to divide you from the beautiful nature, living.
Because YOU MATTER!
Remember I may be turning 24 soon and have fought
many fights with my own demons, but age doesn’t make you stronger and more experienced. Your own words and courage to fight do! Fight on my friends. I support you greatly!
Your friend always,