- As a kid I was always left out and lonely. It made me create a lot of imaginary friends and a strong creative but antisocial mind. However, it also made me want attention and when I didn’t get that, it made me cry. I had so many bad things happen to me I closed myself off from the world and now I don’t know who I am. All I knew was that I was an attention seeker, money waster (I caused the family to pay a lot of stuff) and horrible person because I did bad things just for attention. I hate myself so much but I can’t figure myself out because I don’t know who I am. I desperately want to go back to that innocent little girl and start over but I know I can’t and it kills me. I am giving up on this world and all the bad things I’ve done and received. The world is slowly dimming for me in my eyes and probably everyone else’s .
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I am presently in your shoes. I am the past child and growing up I was always left alone to play with myself. Now I have a problem whereby I always need people attention and validation in life.
I am also like this one. Before I was a kid, I thought I was being fed by validations. But as I grew older, people keep on invalidating me whenever I try to refuse what they are asking of me. So I tried shutting them out, but as I am shutting them out.. I want them to feel what I’m feeling so I am doing things that would give me the attention I need.