Same fuckin shit day in day out a slave to a system that makes one guy and his corp rich as fuck i have no life no anything except a family that is so depressing makes me insane i miss my cat that my fat ex cu.nt has please lord let that bi.tch get whats coming to her im sick of this hillbilly hood fuckin trashy city its trash its cleveland sewer system so please forgive me for ending it because its never gonna get better id rather be dead than watch these fake smug muthafuckers live life happy while i struggle
Monthly Archives
February 2018
As I look back on my life, I think of all the people I’ve met, all the bonds I’ve made, all the things I’ve done and loved.
I think of how much they gave my life meaning, and how they drove me to push on through life with all of my support surrounding me.
And I think of how every single one of those people and things has faded into dust for me. Wether by my own doing, or by life just getting in the way, they have all died off leaving me alone, unwanted, unloved, and dead.
I wonder if I even cross their minds anymore.
In my current age of 21, I’ve really started to feel that all of my previous loves and passions no longer incite emotions inside me the way that they used to. In fact, I’d say that nearly all of my passions have died.
They have died, and I am left with nothing. No purpose, no drive, no motivation. I feel like a ghost who is waiting to move on to thenext life, floating around in a directionless, bleak void.
Sorry for getting so dark there. Am I alone in this feeling? Would love to hear from you all.
I hate everything. My friends don’t notice that something’s wrong with me, and I can’t tell them. I just want to curl up and die. So sick of living and all of the B.S.
I am a newcomer to this website, I have been browsing this site but it is my first time actually making an account. I have been suicidal for as long as I can remember and I’ve tried killing myself several times (won’t mention methods). I feel trapped more and more after each attempt, so I guess I have no choice but to deal with it. I do not want to make this a long post but I don’t feel like living. I learned in recent years I can’t be open about suicide and me wanting to kill myself because the police will just treat me […]
As happy as I currently am I’d love more people to talk to about life. Anything really. Feel free to text me 208.413.5067 Kik feel.alive000 Snapchat babyletsbeweird I would love to talk to more people and try to brighten their day if they know they have someone <3
Ive been living many different mental illnesses such as BDD, BPD, mood disorders, anxiety, depression as well as PTSD. Its been hell. I cant work because i have no idea when ill have a break down they seem to come out of the blue. It has stopped me from graduating, i took a year off my studies to try and work on myself threw therapy but it hasnt been working. Ive now returned back to mt studies and im still finding it hard. Im loosing hope on everything. I can be a complete asshole to my partner. I dont mean to be but tbh its […]
I’m at the cusp of yes and no.
The attachments I have have dwindled to but a few and they are outweighed by the cons of remaining.
I’ve been floating and dropping into one rut after the other and if by some miracle they do stop, I see nothing ahead but a cliff edge. I can only stand there or fall off it. So why bother? Why not just leave now? It would save so much trouble.
I suppose the fear of failing to die is what is stopping me. Having failed before I’m aware that it would just bury me in more crap than I already […]
Well hello again. I’ve been gone again for a year. I thought I was gonna be back last time for a while but not very long after my last post I was able to escape my girlfriend. We went back home to visit our family and after a few days together out of that week I was finally alone. I was so happy to get away but she was not. She never left me alone. My phone was always going off. My parents wanted me to watch their friends child my last day in town and I told them I wanted to but couldn’t. I […]
We are made to socialize but only another me can understand me. I wish I had many twin brothers or clones of me where I could understand them and they would understand me. I’m tired of having people around me who are different and we don’t connect as we should
I am a shadow. No one is there to see me creep so ominously down the hallways everyday. Even the few people who have noticed me will soon forget of my existence.
They wont even know I disappeared so suddenly. Not even him. Every time he walks by me, i see it. I see that he will soon forget. I know how much he loves that sweet, sweet bliss that is ignorance.
Hi guys its goooodguyyy!:D
i know i said that i won’t be back until i do the exam. but i just checked sp i thought maybe its good if i talk about the way i was doing these months.
yeah i said i was trying to make a difference and a change in me and my life and since then i have failed 23 times(today is counted). i have tried and failed,tried and failed:D. well, i know im not perfect but i am forgiving, i may not be where i should be but im making progress, im moving forward im not where i used to be 🙂
since […]
(written Jan. 17, 2018)
One I will Make You proud.
Yet I fell short before you feet
Treas then fall into the color of blood red
Stain with the pain of regrets and mistakes
I’ll make pround when I fell down w/in my own demise
I’ll be gone before a tear can be shed
The dark has given me the welcoming
-Wulfox
(Written Feb. 20th, 2015
IT’s Life: Life and Death
It is full of Joy and of Life and Happiness
It is also full of Depression and Regret
But there is no reason for Sadness
For we live with a savor so Great and Wonderful
And thee shall live in his Kingdom and Rejoice and never have Sadness again
So don’t think of the past of Sadness
Think of the Present time right-now
Think that you have a good life
And that One day you to will never have Sadness again
And shall have Joy
Life in his Kingdom
So I figured I would share my story. I have been struggling with depression for over 20 years. About 4 years ago I was diagnosed major depression. Last September 2017 I spent 5 days in a partial hospitalization program to try to help me. The Wellbutrin I was taking was upped from 300mg to 450mg. I just was not getting any enjoyment out of life. In Nov. 2017 I found out my wife of 10 years was having an affair with co-worker. She never once apologized or showed any remorse for what she did. I few days later I lost my job that I liked going to […]
Was wondering if anyone else on here has experienced this.
I no longer suffer from depression and haven’t for some months but yet my suicidal thoughts won’t stop – I often find myself making plans according to a specific date and looking forward to said date. It’s something I have to actively try not to think about.
For me I believe it’s due to lingering beliefs from my point in time of depression and resulting delusions.
If anyone else has experienced this and anything that might help these intrusive thoughts I would greatly appreciate your sharing.
Lately, I have started to rationalize a series of things to myself that I am surprised at myself for not realizing before. Namely that, as I stop to look around me at the world and all of the events happening around me, a thought comes into my mind. “The world has, is, and always will continue to function with or without me. Were I to withdraw from the world tomorrow, the gears of the world would turn as smoothly as they always have. My ceasing to exist would have no effect on anything, and the few people that it will effect will, sooner or later, […]
Does anyone else constantly have dreams at night of lost loves, friends, or passions? Whenever I dream of those things, I feel much happier for the duration of my dream, only to wake up and continue living the much more lonely life that I do.
I can’t decide if I like having those dreams or not. They remind me of better times, but also remind me of how much worse things are now.
Would love to hear your thoughts and experiences.
In spite of how much I try,
or protest,
or submit,
my parents can’t seem to take me any longer.
I’m supposed to be whisked off to Virginia
to live with my grandparents.
I’ve never had much of a desire to go to the east coast,
and find it inferior to my own state.
But in giving into my depression,
I lost the opportunity for choice.
I won’t miss my parents as much as I’ll miss my friends,
I won’t miss my friends as much as I’ll miss my english teacher,
and I sure as hell won’t miss any of them as much as I’ll miss my rabbit.
I’ll live.
When does something become a problem?
How much is far enough?
Am I sick?
Am I just a hypochondriac?
Can this even be described as sickness?
I don’t want to do it anymore.
I haven’t wanted to do anything for awhile now.
Is that enough?
Can I go now?
How much longer?
I’m tired?
Is that what you need?
Is it still not enough?
Please
Why?
I’m sorry I’ll try harder?
When can I go?
Sorry
It’s okay
I’ll leave now