3 months later, still no cigar

March 13th, 2018by tiredofchronicpain

Excuse this rant. I need it. I am living with a condition that knows no limits. At the start of this year, 2018, I wrote my verdict: I wrote that I am a man, 28 years of age, living with chronic pain. It is now around 3 months till the post, and nothing has changed. I thought I might give it more time but to no avail… I once had a beautiful smile and it got lost after living in the dorms, playing sports, and living life. A bump on my face caused a permanent change to 1 tooth. It spread across my face into something that resembled trigeminal neuralgia. At around 2 years ago, my nights of peaceful sleep came to an end. I would wait and wait to get to sleep and nothing will happen; needle like shooting pains would radiate across my face to my brain. you see, part of the problem of dental health you really cannot control, but you realise how little there can be done for you when your health is  on a thin line. It really just take one, only ONE event to snowball your dental health into something that will give you permanent hell; that you go from doctor to doctor, specialist to specialist to find the cure but no luck… I am seriously now at the cusp of no hope. I do not know what to say anymore. I will  keep everyone here updated onto my last line but I am sure it will not change; I will need to get rid of this pain somehow. I live in poverty. I live with depression and anhedonia so I cannot work. This pain takes all my energy. You see, I was NEVER depressed. I never understood it when I was younger. I am not such a person. This pain made me into somebody I am not. You did not know me 4 years ago; I was outgoing, social, always the man with the jokes. Now, I am a bedridden hermit.

I cannot start a course in pain medication as my body already had it and gets used to it. I just feel I want to cry my eyes out. I really am in stress. I just wanted to belong, I wanted things to be the way it was when I was in my childhood – without stress, peaceful, pleasurable. Why does life get so nasty as adults? Why? I can rage against this existence. It stole everything from me. I am bitter. I really thought buying some time will get me somewhere but it did not. Just tell me, just bloody tell me why root canal treatments create more pain than before? Why if you get 1 of them, are all your teeth messed up and follow suit? I really just do not have the courage to pull all of my teeth and just get dentures. I really am fed up with life and what to do next.

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