to dad

i really hate calling you that. dad. you don’t act like one. i swore to myself five years ago that i would never call you dad or tell you that i love you ever again, yet i did, because you scared me. but i never meant it. what you did, i can never fucking forgive you. she was my best friend. we were only eleven years old. she saw you as a father, she trusted you, she trusted me and you took that away from me. i remember coming to school the next morning. it was a monday morning, and she pulled me aside before class started and told me she wasn’t allowed to come over to my house anymore. i was so sad. when i asked her why? god i wanted to fuckinf throw up. “because your dad molested me.” i’ll never ever fucking forgive you. sure, you denied it, because “you would never do that”. but a fifth grader doesn’t fucking make that shit up. you’re disgusting. i hate youihate you. my mom won’t tell me what you did to her when you guys were still married because she’s afraid you’ll get mad at her. i don’t even want to imagine what you put my poor fucking mother through, and god i want to break you and my stepmother up, because she’s such a good woman, and i couldn’t fucking bear to see you corrupt her too. i hope you never forget this. goodbye dad.