I’m really tired.

I’m so tired. Tired of feeling like a burden. Tired of thinking “I bet my parents wish they never had me. I’m the embarrassment of my whole family.” Exhausted from acting like I’m staying strong so my fiancé won’t worry as much. We all die in the end, so what is the point anyway? “to have fun, to love and be loved, to experience the world in and of itself and behold it’s beauty and nature” blah blah blah, it’s bullshit. We live to work in order to keep living which is mostly spent working and sleeping. From the beginning, my life has been shit. I wish I could just end it. I wish I could make all of my bad memories and thoughts go away, but I’m too afraid that there’s nothing was after we die and that there is no peace. I’m tired of being afraid of people, of living, of dying, of the pain I’ve been existing with for years, I’m tired of everything, and most of all, I’m tired of being tired.