One step forwards 10 backwards

There are these rare times when I feel normal. Me feeling normal feels so good by comparison that I get like hyper and it’s euphoric for a half a day. I think to myself “maybe I’m done with it all now”. I don’t know why I fall for it every time. Maybe it’s because it feels so good, so real. Then reality smacks me and I fall back down to a place lower than where I started.