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by itsallsmallstuff

I want a healthy relationship. But part of opening up to someone is talking about wanting to die. Then this perverts the relationship with either a)flirting with the idea of a suicide pact or b)becoming its gravitational center. Has anyone else walked this line? Possibly even successfully?


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EnslavedByShadows 7/13/2018 - 1:58 pm

I am in the same boat.. And I haven’t found any success. The partner usually gets scared off by that part of me. Guess it’s not appealing to have to worry about whether one’s significant other will be alive the next day.

ida.daniel 7/13/2018 - 3:15 pm


ida.daniel 7/13/2018 - 3:16 pm

Someone who hasn’t seriously considered suicide probably isn’t self-aware enough to be interesting. But if all he wants to do is *fudge* a sadgirl, you’ve got a loser on your hands. Solipsism gets old fast.

In my own case, the apple of my eye has an unmistakable potential for lifetime originality. This is what I want to cultivate as the microbes that make the soil, not the gardener that espaliers the tree. What’s the point of seeking out a complex intelligence, only to control or stereotype it?

spectralgiraffe 7/13/2018 - 9:14 pm

Not much point in talking to them about suicide. Thats only my experience. They will just try to force life on you, or flat out refuse to talk about suicide, or get angry at you for daring to mention that.

a1957 7/13/2018 - 9:30 pm

A new relationship is a fragile thing. Talk of suicide will be a deal breaker unless your new love is of the same mind as you. I am going to guess you will need to be able to discern they are thinking like you and find a way to broach the subject after your two have already built up some trust and a comfort level with each other lest the subject get shoved under the rug even if both are thinking it.

spectralgiraffe 7/13/2018 - 9:34 pm

Find someone you can be really really open with, and some time down the line mention suicide. I mentioned feeling bad about life to my boyfriend before we were in a relationship. Later on I mentioned suicide. He thinks he understands but he doesn’t… oh this is ironic really because he is extremely open.

ida.daniel 7/14/2018 - 1:13 am

How do you guys measure relative sadness? I don’t want to make a pissing contest of being sad, but I definitely reached a comparable level of sadness as someone I care about and know to be at least moderately suicidal. Some of her behavior makes sense because I catch myself doing similar things.

WanderingDreamer91 7/30/2018 - 5:39 pm

It could probably help if maybe you become friends or lovers with people like us on here. 😕

People like us understsnd what it means to be depressed and suicidal.

If that’s what it takes for someone to be empathetic towards you, then… I’ll say, go for that. :p

Anyways, I feel like some things in my life could be oversharing too but I try my best to come off as authentic as possible and be myself…

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