I tried to explain depression and suicidal ideation to a friend once. He didn’t understand. Maybe someone on here will.
Depression is like being in eternal darkness. You can’t see anything, but somehow you know there’s no one there.
Suicidal Ideation is the same idea. Only now there’s a golden window. It lights up the darkness and shows you other people being happy. You try to break through but there’s nothing to break through with and it’s too thick. You feel such anger towards yourself that you can’t be happy like them. Then, eventually, you turn around. The light from the window shows you what you suspected the whole time was true. You’re all alone.
2 comments
Depression sucks takes all the good from what you can formulate with yourself and with others into nothingness of annihilation or self pity to self loathing and anything else that can drain your life’s essence. Loneliness doesn’t particularly bother me I think I understand Suicide Ideation the fickleness of jealousy making you angry with the fact you can’t be happy like the other people except instead of being locked away in your own darkness you may say you’re in a room that has a window showing you the happiness of others while being fully aware that you are locked away in that room while not being able to escape seeing how dark the room really is with you being the only one there.
Hope my comment brings some value to whatever your situation is for we will never meet only through this digital space may I bring some light into this dark room we may end up locking ourselves into may we have the strength to break free from the darkness of our own minds.
The window was actually a painting, and behind it was nothing. No safe to crack open. Nothing to find and no reason to stay. Then you notice the back of the painting. It was you… showing your teeth.