It’s taking a lot for me to write this. I’ve had so conjure up the will or energy to even post here again. I feel so hopeless right now. I just want to die already!
God it’s so hard. To think about the shit storm of pain I’ll leave behind. I hate myself for feeling like this. I think people would be sad for a while but at least they’d be able to move on finally and live their lives without having to worry about me or pay for my therapy or my school or anything . My mom could start to fix her marriage and my sisters could stop having to bother over whether I’m doing okay or not.
Things got pretty bad last year and my immediate family became aware of my mental health or lack there of and ever since then people have been fussing over me and have just forgotten about each other. That’s why I just need to go now… I need to stop being such a burden to people and bringing them down, I need to be dead and gone so that my sisters can feel like they are cared for too and not have me getting all the care and support all the time, I’m always getting in the way. It’s about He only thing I’m good for…
Time to say goodbye now