Watched The “s” word today

  September 14th, 2018 by bbpplily

So at my college, they had a showing of the “s” word. I went not because I had to but to challenge myself. I attempted to commit suicide last November. Luckily I wasn’t triggered but it had me thinking about my last attempt ( i have many more but this was the most recent) and how alone I felt. I spent almost a week in the hospital trying to get my sugar levels stable ( I am none diabatic and toke my father’s insulin on top of over 40 pills) nurses tell me repeatedly I should have died and I should never try again etc. After that I went to a mental health hospital was there for a while. Thing is no one was there for me, my friends or family, I felt utterly alone. In fact when I was released my parents had kicked me saying they couldn’t trust me. At that point, I didn’t want to fight anymore. So somehow I managed to do it mainly with a lot of drugs and I mean a lot for a while (pretty much felt like a walking zombie). Time passed and it got easier but still crosses my mind from time to time. Now I am just focusing on school something I needed and want to do. But one thing I truly wish I had in my life was another person who understands what it feels like to be that nd been through it. I feel like I want to start a club at my school for people who feel like there’s no hope or has been in my shoes. So they don’t feel alone.

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