I just wanted somebody to know

I really don’t know where to begin but my current situation is i am sick and have illnesses that have be going on for a long time also i suffer from depression, anxiety, stress and many more symptoms of mental illness i also don’t have the money, support and resources to get help or get better i can only wait to die by the illnesses slowly or kill myself and maybe end my suffering or be in a worse condition.To give you a short summary of my life i never had anything no love no support i was hated by many people just simply because i existed or simply because i was myself i was also a bother to the people who hated me.In my entire life i have know only loses desperately trying to hold on to whatever i have left only to lose it i am like a broken mirror who can never be hole again i am a fraction of a fraction.The only good in my life was my dog who loved me more than anything and protected me even though i am a young adult i feel like she made a sad kid happy i also loved my dog more than anything in the world she was my one and only true family but sadly she died a year ago i only wished for peace in my life i wish i had been born under different circumstances for i have always suffer from circumstances i would change everything in my life except for my dogs.I wish euthanasia was available in my country i wish for a merciful death i often wonder if god exist or not or if suicide is a sin or not or if i will go to hell in the end i have more questions than answers i wish i knew the truth in the end you play with the cards you are dealt not the ones you don’t have.