I can do anything

On March 19th I hit my breaking point and I felt everything more than I have ever felt before. I cried and cried. I never thought I would ever think about such a thing, but I contemplated suicide, I never knew I could be that low. An all time low. I felt the pain of everything from my entire life, it was all back. I had never hurt so much. I couldn’t repress it anymore it was there. I couldn’t take it, so much pain and emptiness that I could not handle. I looked up how much pain killers I would have to take to take my own life. I told someone about the pain, I broke down. She prayed for me and told me I wasn’t alone and assured me that I could do this. I thought that I lost. But my answer was that I needed a change. Today is a new day and I bounced back better than I have ever been before. Life is going to be great and I can do anything. It took 24 hours for me to come back when I could have taken my own life last night. But instead I made a plan, I regained my independence and said goodbye to the bullshit. I am high on life. I would have never thought I could get through something like that in such a small amount of time. In fact, I thought I couldn’t get through it and I had no other options. I am okay, better than okay. I am excited for my new beginning.