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What Do You When You Tried Your Absolute Best and It Wasn’t Enough?

by Justanotherfaintstar

Throughout the course of my life, I have experienced a string of failures and have only occasionally managed to make the occasional breakthrough.

I wasn’t able to pursue the career I really wanted due to me not being skilled and experienced enough and there being a lack of entry level jobs to break in to the industry. Currently, I am unemployed and every job I interview for has 20 other candidates also campaigning for the same role and thus I keep getting rejected.

I don’t have enough money to go back to school and at this point, I regret ever going to school at all.

This natural spark that people have that seems to help them find their natural fit and skillset in the world seems foreign to me. I have never been good enough for anything, except being a constant failure.

Out of my siblings, I am the least successful. Every time I see them I am faced with the crushing fact of how much inferior I am to them.

I’ve honestly lost all hope and I have no prospects. I already feel dead to the world – no benefit to anyone or anything so long as I am alive. I don’t think that things will get better for me. I really don’t.

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AXYZ 3/12/2019 - 7:20 am

Figuring out your calling in life, let alone one that will pay the bills, is a long process of trial & error which most people never get right. So instead they settle for a menial career they hate but brings them the satisfaction of stability.

Who knows, maybe that’s better than staying true to the career you really want. But I’d say the fact that there is a career you really want puts you ahead of most people who are just floating around reading the help wanted ads. So your skills and experience suck, both of those can be improved.

What I did was take a really low level entry job at a company that did what I want to do. I was little more than a delivery boy. But over time I learned and saw opportunities and eventually started enjoying work even though I wasn’t one of the top dogs. I left the job for other reasons, and now I’m unemployed and suicidal so maybe you shouldn’t listen to my advice. But for what it’s worth, it worked for me for a while. I hope you stick with something close to what you want. Life is full of bad situations we have no choice in, so at least choosing your career should be something you want.

heartlessviking 3/12/2019 - 11:22 am

What do I do? I keep trying. I’ve kept on trying because I want to succeed, not because of my present position. With depression regardless of how good a current condition is, misery is the emotion about it. The options are to give in to misery or find a way to push on anyway.

Having a strong idea of where to go takes time, for me it took years, over 10. Several times I thought I had a good idea, then I discovered that there were things that didn’t work.

It sounds like you’ve got some soul searching to do, about what you want. Because when you find something that you want so bad you can’t stand it, you’ll do anything to get to it.

Or, of course giving up is an option. Depending on severity of depression it might take a few years to get on full disability, but it is a certainty if sought out. That getting on disability might require seeing a therapist. On the other hand disability takes the pressure off, it’s a card for the world to see that you aren’t able to work, and it’s because of illness.

Naturally you could die, but that’s a more hopeless still option than the two I laid out (finding your desires and disability contain a potential for joy and happiness.) Judging by the fact that you’re still here, you haven’t given up on life yet. I think you still want to do your best, otherwise why would you be here?

Once you set yourself to a path and approach it with determination it will lead to a result, and that result will be something different than where you are now. Your options that I presented (which don’t represent a totality of the options available) are these:
Seek out what you really want out of life.
Give up and take the socially acceptable path towards disability.
Death, and likely upset your siblings, and anyone else.

I’m sorry that I couldn’t come up with better options, and that the world is not more kind. It’s no kinder to me or anyone that I know.

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