Hi Mercan,
I know that I’ve made a lot of letters like this but this one is more important than the others! Remember when we all got added in the same gc just because we followed the same person? I’m so lucky that I got added there. I love almost everything about it. Amazing people and amazing conversations. I also remember you ignoring me sometimes but I always forgave you even tho it wasn’t a big deal haha. You know, I was scared to write this bc I thought that it’ll be too hard but I feel relieved now, knowing that I’ll die after writing this is just amazing. I know that you may be afraid of dying but don’t be, It’s not that bad! I knew that I’ll die at some point in my life but I didn’t know when and that scared me when I was little ?? But now I know and it’s not that scary anymore! Please don’t be sad or anything, I’m sorry it had to end like this. I’m sorry that I’m doing this to everyone, I also made a letter for my parents so don’t worry, you’re not the only one! I also have to say that our friendship was really important for me and I have to say this because I need to be honest with you, I remember telling you that I’m bisexual but I didn’t tell you that my love for you is actually real, I really fell in love with you. You’re my crush Mercan and don’t be disgusted or anything, I understand that, even tho I can feel that you would reject me I would still be your friend obviously ?? So I felt that you should know! I also need you to tell others of our gc, I didn’t want to write a letter to all of them, you’re special to me and that’s why. You’re probably wondering why am I doing this? I’m not going to tell you, I’m sorry. It’s not your fault so don’t blame yourself, there’s just problem with me, I’m not good enough. Also you’ll find another friend like me very quick so don’t worry! And please if you read this just say “goodbye Poli”. I don’t want you to be sad, remember. Oh and I’m sorry that I’ll miss your birthday, happy birthday Mercan! And my love will always be there, even tho I’m not going to exist, my love for you will.
Byebye! ?
Much love, your Poli?
P.S. Don’t ignore ppl you dumbo!
3 comments
i know that i am not mercan, but would you mind settling for me until she gets here? i don’t know your situation, but i do know pain. a lot of pain. i too have never felt like i was enough. i am fighting hard to stay alive, and i am certain that you have been as well. if you would take a pause, and reach out to one of us…one of the tortured souls on this site, maybe someone will say something that might make you reconsider killing yourself right now, or for 5 minutes from now, or maybe even for an hour. i sincerely hope that you are willing and able to do so….truly…xoxox
agree with spookichick. you at least deserve one last good conversation. we are here.
Or maybe it’s too late…