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burnt out

by li

they say its better to burnt out then fade away.
well I’m burnt out
but i wish i didn’t
i wish i faded away
finding my self at the side of the tube
taking that step
how easy would that be
how fast would that be
just that one step
and i would fade away

but right now
i’m in my bed
lost and sad
again
again
burnt out hoping to make others life better
to give all i’ve got
but there is nothing left
now i just fuck things up
throwing all i have left away
life is all there is left

the every next breath i take
it hurts my chest
the action of it hurts

maybe this is my way of punish my self
still being here rather taking the easy way out
well
well done
you did it
i did it
you hurt yourself
again
again

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3 comments

a1957 6/16/2019 - 3:01 pm

Stepping from the side of the tube is so physically simple to image but so hard to come to terms with. It’s like our very brains are hardwired to avoid instant death no matter why we want it.

darkwillow 6/16/2019 - 10:16 pm

I remember seeing your name, about a year ago. Im happy and sad to see your back.

li 6/21/2019 - 3:06 pm

yea, still here struggling

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