Home Coping Skills Letter in a bottle.
Report Post

Letter in a bottle.

by Silversilvers

Can I ask you a question? What the fuck? 

You started this whole dramatic chain of events that completely threw my entire world out of balance. Of course like the Piscean that I am, I sat here and mentally dissected the entirety of what happened and I’m even more confused. 

You claimed  that I was the most amazing person that you know. “I have always been in love with you” and “you’re perfect” were just some amongst the gallons of word vomit regurgitated at me on a daily basis. 

Everyone likes compliments. Maybe I kept you around to hear them. I don’t know. But anyways. 

My reasons for not giving you a chance were simply because I was never interested. No games. I was always honest. Realistically you made no true tries to really get with me other than just telling me how wonderful I am. One can only hear so much flattery before they tire of it. 

And yet, this last attempt of yours worked in some form or another. For once, I allowed myself to want you back. 

Now this is the part in all the Spanish soap operas where after all the heartache and struggles, the happy ever after finally happens. The white doves start flapping and someone starts crying, the rice gets thrown everywhere and finally, a white wedding. But the universe does not work that way, at least for me. 

You decide to not want me… 

 

What the hell are you looking for then?? If I was your version of perfection, then what happened!? What was all of this for? Were you bored?? 

I’ve always had a problem with not knowing what someone was thinking. It bothers me that humans never say what we really mean and I always get in trouble for saying too much. I know. It’s messed up. 

And of course my brain starts to swim and make up excuses for you. “Maybe he doesn’t consider himself worthy” or “Maybe he doesn’t want me to put my career on hold.” 

Don’t judge my ocean of thoughts. I’ve stated previously that I’m unstable. 

But why?? Why make me hurt like this? We could have simply stayed as we were and left things be! 

I’m never going to get the answers that I want because you never tell me what’s really in your heart. I know you well enough to see that you’ve always hidden a part of yourself from me. It’s sad but I would have accepted you in any from. I’m far from perfect. I’m a sea monster.  I would have eaten your demons for snacks if you would have given us a chance. 

Maybe that was the problem? You finally saw me for what I really am. Did I scare you? 

Guess you weren’t worthy after all. 

0 comment
2

Related posts

Leave a Comment