I’ve worked out that the cost of my desired CTB would cost about the same as the two pairs of shoes I bought last month…
Joined another site (strict on their rules) but there is more freedom/liberal speech…
I’m still 100 percent serious about my suicide but I’m still 50/50 “Yes, one hand on my suicide, One hand on the rose”..
I won’t commit until I have exhausted all therapy/resources available to me and being as that hasn’t even started yet I may as well see that through first. Scary to finally know that the backup IS doable.. I keep trying you know, still dragging that very dead horse..
But deep down..
I know..
Learned a lot about myself in the years I’ve been away. It’s all starting to make perfect sense but it still isn’t getting any easier and I’m getting worse.
Anyway big-up peace and love ye old vets and noobs.
Sending fourth my compassion and empathy which’ll always remain no matter how dead I am nor bitter with humanity Xxx
5 comments
Yeah I’d like to see suicide as a last resort
It’s always good to know methods just in case life ends up in such a bad place that nothing could realistically get you out of your situation.
See, I’ve been considering suicide since I was 8.. a couple of failed attempts but this is the first time I have come this close to finding a ‘sure fire’ way that is obtainable and I’m in a position to afford..
I can’t just go willy nilly because loved ones… I’m not gonna make my Gram out live me for example. Having said that I still fluctuate between this rationality and the urge to leave. The battle is constant but I guess I’ve endured this long and the psych therapy was not available to me before so I really have to try for my family you know?
I grieve for them.
Theres a lot of us still here from 5 years ago. The site in general is quieter now, but they keep in contact with each other through emails or discord, kik ect
You forgot Facebook lol
Cheers guys, not big on social media.. literally have none of those but it’s good to hear that you/ they are still around. I still keep in touch with one via email, unfortunately lost contact with another I was close to.. hoping they may post again sometime.