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Message P.1

by Itscolourlife

To: my ?

Its not your fault, its not my fault, dont you remember what you said?
Yes, I agree with you, its how nature works
Dont grieve to long, Im happy, I mean this is what I want
Die without so much blood or pain

Actually im not sure if I was happy or sad with you
But I want to believe that Im happy
Looking back I smile more, I love more, I want more
This frozen heart finally can feel emotion again
Happiness, sadness, annoyance, yearning, love, so many..

Deep in my heart I feel sorry to you
For making you going through all this shit with me
Its just I feel so lonely inside
When Im with you I feel calm and happy
Even tho on those days when we fight
Still I miss you, I want to see you

Deep in my heart I feel sorry to myself
For making myself looks like stupid *****
Missing and loving you with all my heart
Lost in my mind
Hoping you said nice things and understand me all the time
Because of my situation

I know Im being stupid here
Letting go all my self worth
But I believe one day
You will see through me
Why I did this or that?
I wish at least you understand that all my emotion always stay to the truth

I keep telling myself to stop
But like a curse
I drawn into you
More and more and more

Idk if Im lucky or not
But at least the things that makes me happy really make me happy
And the things that makes me sad really make me desperate

Idk what I should say
But let me say thank you
Dont stop pursuing your dream
Dont stop walking ahead
You can remember me once a year
Its enough

I always wish for your success and happiness
Even without me beside you
OFC !!! I hope we will be together
But even that its so vague

When I feel sad
I feel so lonely
Nobody care

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