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I’m losing my mind

by cannolongertakeit

I don’t have many options. I know discussion of methods isn’t allowed here so I won’t get into details. But I can only jump, and there’s only one place I could do it from, and I’m afraid I’m going to land on someone because there’s an atrium below. I’m going to go crazy, I already have. I really can’t take it anymore. I hate being alive so much. All I want is a guarantee that I’ll die, and I’ll be at peace. They built a fence at the 2 popular locations in my state. So the only thing I have left is this place… but now I have to worry about people taking smoke breaks below. I want to freaking scream, I can’t handle it. I’m literally thrashing on the bed and crying and I want to bang my head against a wall. I just want OUT! I’m not asking for much. I didn’t choose to be born, I just want to die. I can’t take this.


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Sbilko 6/20/2020 - 6:20 am

Why is it that you want to commit suicide with so much determination? Death will come eventually, whether we want it or not; why not instead do the best we can do while we’re alive?

Please, think about your family, how it would destroy their lives, especially that of your parents, and siblings if you have; how it would make them more prone to suicide. Please, reconsider your choice; no matter how difficult a situation is, there’s always a positive way out, a solution to their problems that is not by suicide — many people have found it, and I’m sure you can find it too!

Sbilko 6/20/2020 - 6:23 am

Please, think about how you committing suicide could rob someone else of his life; but even if you found a safer way, please don’t do it, please reconsider your choice — you too, can recover from desiring death, like so many other people have.

Rainwatch 6/20/2020 - 8:58 am

Jumping crosses my mind too, and the last thing u need in that scenario is a do gooder intervening or people taking smoke breaks below. I’ve investigated cliffs and apparently the one I have my eye on is patrolled by good Samaritans who try to talk people out of jumping.

no name 6/20/2020 - 9:31 am

Jumping sounds painful. And God forbid you survive…just my opinion. Of course that kinda goes for all methods I guess lol

Sbilko 6/20/2020 - 10:19 am

Why are good Samaritans and do-gooders such a bad thing? Many people who were suicidal, no longer want to commit suicide after things have improved — there is hope for a better future for all who want to commit suicide, that is not death.

no name 6/20/2020 - 10:34 am

its not that they are a bad thing. its just sometimes stopping them…..isnt always what is best. like in my case. i seem to suffer from cptsd and ptsd, i have hallucination, dissociation and a personality disorder. these are things that i have to live with until the day i die and narcotics can only help so much. sometimes its just better to let the pain stop.

Rainwatch 6/20/2020 - 10:36 am

When I want your opinion I’ll ask for it. This site is for suicidal discussion now preach your phony self help elsewhere.

no name 6/20/2020 - 10:48 am

i like it when he gets on here preaching about how it will make our parents and everyone feel. like dude thats why 99% of us are here so we really dont care lol. plus why should we, isnt more selfish of them to want to continue our pain? ill never understand how its always one sided like that. “what about how im going to feel?” “what about how i currently feel. apparently that doesnt matter” yeah…..that helps the situation. i personally feel they should be more supportive of the person. help them try to get better but understand that might not be a possibility. if we have cancer though its “do you want to do chemo and maybe get better or just enjoy your last few days then die” just because its mental and our life is completely in our hands thats somehow different?

vagabond 6/21/2020 - 1:24 am

I think the best advice anyone can give here is in the form of a question. “If you could get better, would you want to? Or would you still want to die?” That’s about what it boils down to.

Sbilko 6/20/2020 - 11:19 am

I’m really sorry if my comments have ever hurt you or annoyed you in any way. I’m here because it breaks my heart to hear about your pain, or about the pain of, for example, how her son’s suicide destroyed this mother’s life: suicideproject. org/2020/06/gone-forever-3/

I try to help as best as I know, I’m really sorry if it’s not good enough. I don’t want to be in this site; but from time to time I pinch in to check for new posts, and when I read something like this current post, of a person writing about imminent suicide, I don’t know, it just gets to my heart. I want to help, I’m truly sorry for being bad at helping, for not knowing how to help properly.

no name 6/20/2020 - 11:24 am

i find that a better way to help would be to suggest coping mechanisms. when one repeats about god or “loved ones” its not always the most helpful advice because most of us dont believe in god. how can he exist if our life is a living hell? what did we do to deserve this? and not everyone is lucky enough to have loved ones they can count it. i know i personally only have one and lately…..im not sure i even have him.

Sbilko 6/20/2020 - 11:23 am

All I can offer is my heartfelt concern for you

cannolongertakeit 6/20/2020 - 9:21 pm

I’ve been suffering for years from an incurable chronic illness and mental illness, I’ve been through therapy and hospitalization and taken countless medications. I don’t want to live and I don’t want to try at all anymore.

Rainwatch 6/20/2020 - 9:55 am

Survival would be a nightmare indeed but I think those cases are few and far between. As regards pain I think it would be sudden death upon impact. I’m talking about sea cliffs a 500 foot drop into the Atlantic, if that doesn’t do the trick I don’t know what would.

no name 6/20/2020 - 9:57 am

isnt that like using a .50 cal to get rid of a fly?

cannolongertakeit 6/20/2020 - 9:24 pm

I wish there were cliffs nearby where I live in New York. Only tall buildings with concrete around. I personally don’t care about the pain as long as its certain death and I’m guaranteed to not hurt anyone else physically on the way down. It’s 300 feet, the place I’m planning on jumping from. I’m so scared of someone walking out as I’m falling though. I can land away from the glass, but I’m so afraid someone will suddenly emerge in the split second before I hit the ground.

Rainwatch 6/20/2020 - 10:02 am

Lol as long as it gets rid of the fly it’s fine by me

no name 6/20/2020 - 10:09 am

i feel kinda bad for laughing at but……its funny lol

cannolongertakeit 6/20/2020 - 9:25 pm

Haha, agreed.

Rainwatch 6/20/2020 - 10:11 am

I chuckled aloud too lol!

no name 6/20/2020 - 10:13 am

dont ever make that joke to a “normie” though. theyll lock us up and throw the key in quicksand lol

Rainwatch 6/20/2020 - 10:15 am

Good fucking point. Normies don’t get our humour.

no name 6/20/2020 - 10:18 am

they take us too seriously. i get were suicidal but a joke is a joke it doesnt mean we’re going to do it the next second we’re alone. i like my normie people but its nice talking to people that understand šŸ™‚ i have more friends from this site then irl lol

Lunnna 6/20/2020 - 10:21 am

Iā€™d like to hang myself or cut my neck

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