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No Choice

by girl in pieces

I’m new. I’ve been quiet down lately but I think I’m okay for now. I’m ambitious but not confident. I hv a mental illness that nobody knows except the school counsellor. Everybody keeps pushing me to do better. I always feel like I’m standing at the edge of a cliff and there’s only a thin rope that’s keeping me from falling. I love my best friend, she’s the string but I feel so guilty and stupid. Isn’t that is enough? She understands me and I understand her. Shouldn’t I fight this for her? For my future?(that is if there is one) Life is so complicated. I’m struggling to stay afloat and I’m scared that what if one day I won’t be able to fight it anymore? Then it’ll all be a waste. I have no choice but to stay and fight the thoughts and my demons until my last breath because isn’t that something?

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3 comments

darkwillow 10/12/2020 - 7:19 pm

What do you think is the biggest reason why you’re hanging over the edge? Anything in specific? Expectations? Stress? Fear? Wants?

Virus.Found 10/14/2020 - 1:47 am

Welcome here.! You’re not here, just for fun, so it’s always serious. You’re having thoughts of not making it, but you’re good, you’re still scared of not making it. And you’re trying, that’s good too. It’s nice to have a friend like yours, but remember that people can’t be your string, because if they go, you don’t have security. I hope you’ll be okay. Your life is not a waste.

girl in pieces 10/19/2020 - 2:58 am

Hey there. Thanks for the encouragement.

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