I’ve been around the site for a long time now, but never really posted anything… Guess I never thought the point of it. (Reaching out) or sharing my feelings hasn’t been a strong suit being an introvert and all but right now I’m on the verge again… I’ve been struggling since a long time, first with autoimmune diseases and how I coped with it just so I can keep working since 4 years by abusing benzo’s .. trying to quit and ween off slowly now, but it’s hell. I haven’t been to work in a week(I hate it) plus the withdrawals are bad… I skip work alot cause of my autoimmune and “issues” and I feel so guilty about it. Just want this all to be over. Sorry for the long post and derailing thoughts . Hate work, hate about everything right now. My brain is a mush about now and all I want is no one bothering me while it slowly deconstructs.