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by Virus.Found

This day was a rollercoaster of good and bad. In me trying to find sense in other people’s actions. I did okay. But you know what.? It took me the whole day, but there’s no fucking sense to be found. People are just assholes, end of story.!

“You should totally get that app or social media, I’ll love you for it, but secretly I just want you to like my posts and share my own mind in my staged-as-fuck stories. Oh, did you see my many gifts I wrapped for aaaaall of my many friends, look how fortunate I am. Oooh, what did you get for Christmas.? Oh, socks that’s so… haha, pathetic. No, dude I so didn’t see the things you wrote in the group chat, don’t you understand, that the word ‘read’ needs to actually be there, so I have taken a few seconds out of my day, to listen to you.? Oh, don’t be like that, I only come here to talk to important people and give a thumbs up to every single pic of that one hashtag I like.”

I actually feel like, this is the perfect impersonation of every friend on social media. I don’t understand, how others enjoy this.? Are they all masochistic jerks.? Like damn, a few days there feed my depression worse than any form of lifelong gluttony ever could.

My group had something important to talk about so I unfreezed my account, only to be ignored then. Thing is, you can only deactivate it once every week. That’s a long-ass time to be painfully made aware, that nobody really cares if you get, what they wanted you to get.

I got really close today to post something really risky, divided into a few levels of inappropriateness. Either a very mellow depression quote and maybe a corny black and white picture OR straight up post a story with something suicide related and old faded scars on your arms. (So basically my very normal start of the week.)

Imagine them tapping on my first ‘story’ ever and then seeing something like THAT. I’m not going to lie, I would love to see their faces lit up like: “Wait.! Are you telling me, they’re depressed.?! That one person, who always acts so friendly and talks so much.? I don’t get this at all. Kinda pathetic to post it out here for anyone to see. Geez I’ve had so much fun with my pointless shit, that they’ve ruined now.. I should just pretend I didn’t see this and- oooh, Kylie brought out a new rouge palette to contour my fake nose blush.! (Seriously what is that.?) Liked and shared.<3 #SoCheap her last blush was like 80$, now it's only 70$ and this one looks sooo different from the last one."

Am I the only one who sees people all around me like these phony’s, who only care about their own needs and more so WANTS.? It’s so tiresome to see the youth in this vortex, treating someone popular like a god/goddess and treat their friends like dogshit. My friend had the nerve to show up today out of nowhere after a few years and say: “I think we had a misunderstanding, that’s why we stopped talking.” Uhm, no. You were always gone for weeks and when you did return, you didn’t even know what we both last talked about, while having time to post 5 pictures on instagram daily and reply to every comment there.

My point is, that I can see the need of people wanting to appear perfect on these sites, while inside of them they are so rotten, not even maggots want to fill up on that. But it’s not for me and I think it shouldn’t be for anyone. Okay, I get that I shouldn’t overanalyze a bottomless pit for it to become a whole castle of deceit. But I guess I can’t just start to follow blindly into this concept of endless comparison to other people’s lives, just like being a follower to their accounts.

But for real though. Being a follower isn’t the creepy dude in the alley at night anymore or the one, where you follow someone’s messed up beliefs into a cult. How did that word get so messed up in meaning.? Although at this point calling them ‘friends’ just like normal sites will let you do, isn’t true in that realm.

I guess I have to thank SP for letting me rant about this, where people won’t get upset about it. (At least I hope, you’re not all hardcore social media butterflies…) Thanks for not making me post something before bed, that no one will unsee.! Just gotta breathe through Wednesday, to lay my account on ice again, so that I won’t be able to do something impulsive. Oh and:

<3 Virus.Found tagged you in this picture, which shows people, that are still alive this week.


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Monster 12/15/2020 - 12:24 am

I’m sorry you can’t deactivate your account until Wednesday. I hope you’ll end up being pleasantly surprised with how easy it was for you to ignore your temptations to check it and/or post something. You truly don’t deserve the negative impact it’s having on you.

I’m glad you’re still around. I hope the rest of 2020 will pleasantly surprise you.

Idfk anymore, I'm just here I guess 12/15/2020 - 1:21 am

I recognize that _subdued_ tone. “You truly don’t deserve the negative impact it’s having on you” LOL.

Nice deflection. Us non-social media using mortals can only perhaps one day dream of climbing up your nostril hairs to be as smooth in delivering our disagreements as you.

Monster 12/15/2020 - 2:16 am

I sincerely didn’t mean it that way! I know it’s stupid of me to, but I add “truly” to the beginning of a lot of sentences in my writing. “I truly hope”, “You truly don’t deserve”, “You truly deserve” etc. Trust me, it’s not meant as sarcasm. I’m extremely sensitive/weak, and I can’t handle sarcasm. I’m always worrying about how people interpret what I say because I’m so often hurt by what others say. I add “truly” to those statements because I truly, genuinely mean them. I totally understand why you thought I was being sarcastic! Most people who word things that way are being sarcastic.

I honestly don’t use social media. I totally agree with Virus.Found about social media!

As I said to Virus.Found:

I’m glad you’re still around. I hope the rest of 2020 will pleasantly surprise you.

Virus.Found 12/15/2020 - 6:46 am

Don’t worry, you don’t have to explain, I didn’t think anything negative of it. Yeah, I can get quite sensitive too, hence this post of being wrapped up in that daily-people BS and them being totally fine, while I can’t handle it. It’s still cool, that you’ve read and replied to my post, saying you can’t stand sarcasm. 😀
I hope you TRULY have a nice rest of the year too.! I’m trying to get rid of the easy temptations, that make me unhappy. Who thought 2021 was still in our cards.?

Virus.Found 12/15/2020 - 6:39 am

@Idfk anymore, I’m just here I guess
This is SP not Facebook, we support each other and stuff 😛 Your creative sarcasm is good though, I’d like to see it applied to the right kinds of people.!

Idfk anymore, I'm just here I guess 12/15/2020 - 8:40 am

Okay my bad y’all, you never know what kinda people you’re going to meet here… I just figured I’d go all in in the case of… well you get the idea…

Virus.Found 12/15/2020 - 6:21 pm

Fight mode activated xD

theo 12/15/2020 - 1:36 am

*raises hand*
I’m one of those masochistic cut-outs.. haha Swear it, my brain just lights up when a girl I ‘m attracted to likes my social media crap… and consequently, if the attractive girl drove by my house because she was nuts, I’d feel lit like a christmas tree. … and kind of scared but still.

so sorry I can’t relate, but if you <3 my post I'd be feeling great

Virus.Found 12/15/2020 - 6:52 am

Look, it’s okay if you think social media is great, but you’re just proving my point. Super attractive people, especially hot girls showing off the illusion of everything being perfect in their lives. We all love to look at beautiful things, but you’d have to ask yourself, if you wouldn’t want to look deeper. These instagram girls live on that thrill, thinking of what to post every minute of their day and maybe make some buck out of it. And some fools will admire them from afar, while they don’t even know you exist. If you’re okay with that, then move along 😀 I just don’t like seeing these perfect moments of our lives all over there, while we suffer with our struggles deep inside, being shamed for not feeling the way, we just posted or seen others post.
>Oh, and also: ‘Pretty’ people have struggles too.!

theo 12/15/2020 - 6:40 pm

I get you. A horse conch is a good example. A beautiful shell is nothing without an ocean humming inside of it/ substance. And me, I look for the tiniest hints of that in strangers, you know, a warm soul. I’m a bit of a dreamer/ that’s really all haha :F

Virus.Found 12/15/2020 - 7:05 pm

That’s sweet (: I’ve been also told to be a dreamer~

theo 12/16/2020 - 2:07 am

Yeah, it’s nice when you aren’t focused on Karen’s scrap book haha Who cares about that b*’s minivan?? Does she even care? Or is she scrapbooking~ Daymn lol

theo 12/16/2020 - 2:09 am

and make up pallettes… who cares just find your own happiness that’s the real issue here.

Virus.Found 12/16/2020 - 6:14 am

I mean I wonder whether she does that herself or pays someone to ‘invent’ them x’D

theo 12/15/2020 - 1:38 am

you’d call me desperate now but irl you’d know she’d have to really be *hot*
bc i’m just not an attention seeker it’s this rare thing crush but no I’m so sorry you feel like crap hahah

theo 12/15/2020 - 1:39 am

isn’t it kind of hot that these really hot* girls are imperfect and normal/relatable/strugglin……….. I don’t understand……….

cherryblacks 12/15/2020 - 1:57 pm

Deleting social media made me feel less shit the second i got rid of it. I still have twitter, I might delete it soon, but I don’t use it that often. It’s kind of easy to get detached from the world that way. Or maybe thats just how it seems.

Social media alters peoples brains and they become addicted to it. I find it better to just get rid of it and if anyone complains to you, maybe their not worth compromising for.

Virus.Found 12/15/2020 - 6:24 pm

I liked it better too, when it was gone.! 🙂 I like to detach myself from reality, but honestly there’s a million better ways to do that, than this mess. I rather feel, this is what we have to expect in this time now. This is the new reality.

Rainwatch 12/15/2020 - 2:28 pm

You mention Kylie in this post, that hits the nail right on the head, Social Media is made for the Kardashian/Jenners of this world, its not real life just like that show, im not on it but i know enough about it to realize it would not be for me, i have no interest in what someone I went to school with is doing.

Virus.Found 12/15/2020 - 6:30 pm

You noticed that clue, good.! 😀 I’ve just thought of one of my friends who have a make-up account. There’s nothing wrong with it but the prices for those palettes are really insane.! And it’s not like she gets them once but has a lot of them. Whilst there’s people, who can’t even afford to eat. It just adds another ‘the system’s broken’ to the list.! I’m probably the only ghost in my old school circle. I’ve cut cords with everyone and didn’t have any account for them to see for many years. They’d be pretty surprised by how my life has drifted, while they probably keep posting pretty pictures with them on the meadow.

Robert77 12/16/2020 - 12:18 am

I think social media is fine for bands and teens but for grownups not so much. I have phone/text and email if y’all want to get in touch. I also used to be in computer security so I know better. Yeah my siblings cry about it sometimes but they usually text all of us a group anyway and even that is a pain in the ass.

Virus.Found 12/16/2020 - 6:12 am

Haha, I’m rather young but sometimes I feel way old in the way of thinking. I use E-Mail for a friend too. Oh, I’m not in any group either, that drives me insane. Computer security.? Cool.!

Sbilko 12/16/2020 - 1:52 pm

Hi, I have some resources which really help me and you might find helpful too:
getcoldturkey. com
And the “Olauncher” app from the google play store.
ColdTurkey blocks websites and is almost un-circumventable, which is why I love it. And the latter lets me see only the relevant apps in my phone.
Of course, it’d be prefearable that I don’t use Internet nor electronics, but Uni makes it necessary.

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