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Why are we so broken?

by eternaldarkness

All I’ve ever wanted was to be “normal” and happy.

I’ve had depression since I was a kid. I’m middle aged now. I’ve lost hope that it’ll ever change. My mind is even worse off now than before -_-

8 comments
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8 comments

KST 12/26/2020 - 12:26 pm

In my opinion, We are broken because the world doesn’t fix people and things, that break someone easily, at the right time. Or even doesn’t make them realize the possibility from themselves.

heartlessviking 12/26/2020 - 10:57 pm

You answered some of it yourself; you wanted to be “normal”, and “happy”, the moment you realize that you aren’t, you’ve drifted too far to ever be an ordinary human being again. Happiness is temporary, fleeting, contentedness is at least possible.

Nothing is firm, all that we see, all that we think has been translated through the spectrum of our senses, and as those senses can be tricked we can never be absolutely sure of anything. It may be just what works for me; I lean hard into that void. People are frustrating, but that’s just what it looks like from where I’m standing. There’s no objective measure of what a “good person” or “functional person” looks like. The majority of people are barely holding on to what they’ve got. The world is a carnival of horrors, as such anything good is an abnormality.

I am “broken” because I have empathy and strong memory for things that I have felt from talking to people. That sensitivity is my special experience, apparently a rare thing. I think that my particular problem is that while appreciating that all is nonsense, I long for sense and order in the world.

The human thing is to want what we can’t have. Thus even understanding that normality cannot be had, we want it. Wanting is what keeps us alive, not food, and certainly not a desire for life.

Once 12/28/2020 - 10:19 am

I’m broken because of time. My parents passed on their genetic insanity to me, and like a ticking time bomb, it’s taken over, like clockwork. My fate was sealed at conception. And for what? So they could have a nice fuzzy cute little baby, white picket fence and the dream. No concept of the havoc they created with each of their four children. None whatsoever. Just answering nature’s call to f*ck, basically.

And me, the coward, with a .357 two feet away from me, unable to use it.

Just screw this effing world.

eternaldarkness 12/28/2020 - 3:10 pm

Too bad we can’t all get together to do a suicide circle of sorts O_o
Imagine if there was such a thing…

Once 12/28/2020 - 7:56 pm

This would be nice.

LostintheWreckage 12/28/2020 - 3:31 pm

The most likely reason we are different, not broken, is because of our childhoods. Children are sponges who absorb everything from their enviroment and are entirely dependent on their primary caregivers for everything. Abuse of any kind, trauma, emotional neglect, betrayal by a caregiver, or even not being held enough permanently alters and impairs the developmental process. It affects everything; the brain, emotional regulation, personality, bonding patterns, core beliefs about oneself and the world, the, immune system, ect. There are other reasons; genetics, illness, school bullying, ect, but, childhood and family dynamics are the most obvious place to start.

JudgeMeNot 12/29/2020 - 5:27 pm

It’s in are human nature. Survival instincts to keep going forward… it’s like trying to completely stop on a moving train going 150mph.

sevsrose 12/30/2020 - 8:55 am

Same here. I hope I’m not middle aged, I hope I’m in my final days. This life is a mess, I am a mess, death is the broom that sweeps the mess away.

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