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Am I alone in this thought?

by tired123

Life is so messed up… Why do we / I have to be here. Why…… Can someone just give me ONE good reason that we are forced to be here.
Can someone just let me know if I leave here will it all be over? Or will I just come back or will the next place be any better?
Is there a next place?
I kind of hope not. To just vanish and just not be anymore, would be peaceful. If there is something after this world will it be worse?
These are the thoughts going through my head when I am wanting to finally act on my depression.
Am I alone in this?
Fu@% this world.
And then I think OMG stop being so dramatic. But my mind and body dont let me.
Please tell me I am not the only one here that feels this way.

6 comments
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6 comments

Once 1/27/2021 - 12:48 am

As for a “good” reason, it’s up to you to decide if the union of sperm and egg is good. Barring that, I’m not answering the question you never asked. Or I never read. I hate to think that all we are is a biological reaction.

WhatIfImLate 1/27/2021 - 6:20 pm

There are loads of answers to this question.
“Viktor Frankl: Man’s search for meaning” is a good read.
The audio book is on youtube if you like that format .

Here are some answers that I have cooked up over the years,
listed in no particular order.
(alot of this is going to sound bat shit)

a)
The question comes from the absurd realization that the universe exists,
and us with in it.
You can engage with this in at leased 2 ways:
1) Ask why? Why do I exist? Why any of this?
This is the futile search for ultimate meaning.
2) Simply wonder and awe at the strangeness and beauty of existence.
Trying to experiences it in its own terms.
Strangely the sensation we associate with finding meaning is actually found
via choice 2.

b)
The question of ultimate meaning is its self a meaningless question.
Even god if there was such a thing couldn’t answer satisfactorily.
There are no possible answers, that couldn’t meat with the response “but why that, what is the meaning of this whole arrangement”.
Meaning is relational, there is no such thing as inherent meaning, its a contradiction.
Teleology is a fools errand.

c)
We die constantly. We are constantly being recreated.
I don’t believe in the continuity of the self, despite the constraints of the English language forcing “me” to pretend otherwise.
Every 3 seconds, the length I can hold on to a moment for, we sease to exist and a stranger steps into our brain. They are created, they take the rains of what ever we are
doing, and we sease to exist. They live there 3 seconds, then they too are replaced.
In this view, we as ephemeral beings, don’t have a choice whether to exist or not.
We exist right here, and right now.
Your given literally everything you are from your neurological ancestors,
and you have no time to make things for your self. All you can do is make one
choice and experience one thing. You act when you do, for the benefit of your descendants.

I don’t know how this fits in but I feel like it dose, especially about the after life thing.

c) Finally as Carl Sagan put it
“We are the universe experiencing its self”.
We exist to experience, and to join the process of creation by doing and being.

tired123 1/28/2021 - 2:04 pm

My struggle is if i decide to end this……. Will I just have to come back and do it again. Will I be damned to hell.. Will it just be over…. Am I here to figure out how to get past this. Or is there a way past this. I really dont think there is an answer to these questions. At least not here and now. Only if I choose to take the leap.

postal 1/30/2021 - 1:07 am

Consciousness is the soul, because the homeless man talking to himself on the subway isn’t haunted, and free will ends in almost everyone when you fall asleep.

Your skull cages your soul – what you do with your soul – will it melt through and float around in a box- become absorbed by the soil or burned and possibly stuck to something in a crematorium. I ask myself this – if there were a beautiful anthill above my head- placed on my grave- who does it really appeal to – when the armies of ants are eating the flesh on my skull – so beautiful to passersby – god – how can anyone become existential about afterlife? It is an idea meant to appeal to our dreams. Dreams of improving ourselves- meant for survival – and we hate that altogether.

postal 1/30/2021 - 1:13 am

As depressed people – we hate our dreams – because dreams are meant to improve our motivations for fulfillment of desire – love and happiness- but we are depleted of finding happiness – and that’s what the physical realm of dreaming is for – better functioning and improvement.
You get one chance – really observe the vast world of space and chance and understand there isn’t a tomorrow after death. This is it.

JudgeMeNot 2/2/2021 - 1:24 am

There is no Reason why “we” are here. We got lucky to be born when we did. To be honest if you keep looking for the truth in life it will only cause more pain.

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