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End of the line

by heartlessviking

I’m getting closer, I can feel it. Eventually all my proverbial parachutes are deployed, all my favors cashed and all legitimate debts paid. I want to quit; the whole dang thing. I don’t want a boss, or a mortgage, or crushing debt that I might pay off if I am very hard working and lucky. This life I’m living, is a waste of good time.

I want to move to the country and teach. I think I’d teach high schoolers rhetoric or something like that.  I wouldn’t ask for much money, enough for me to eat is plenty. I’d go in three days a week and teach, maybe make $200…. I hate money, and everything it does to people. I’ve kept my nose clean my whole life. Never been arrested, most I’ve ever gotten was a ticket. I have worked hard for fourteen years, and I still have just as much debt as when I started, if not more.

So, I’m probably going to walk out. The only reason anyone is as nice as I’ve been is under the theory that people would appreciate it enough to keep me healthy and functional.  Not a thing. There is no reward. I talked to my parents about it; no employer will ever appreciate devotion or passion. That’s the game, everyone else is bought up, think it’s worth being treated like shit because INSURANCE?! What a backwards country, where if you don’t have a decent employer you can’t stay insured. There’s no such thing in this country as a decent human being in management. By the time you get up to management you’ve signed off on so much criminal activity and suffering, you’re an accomplice.

So screw it, screw the whole silly system. If those that do what they are supposed to are punished, there’s no point at all in doing anything for anyone outside of family. I’ll still be nice, and take care of people because that is what I enjoy. What I want cut out is the BS employers. I’m ashamed to be an American, where “at-will employment” is a politically correct way of saying “Something between slavery and indentured servitude, where the employer absolutely does not care if you are still alive.”

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3 comments

Soda 1/28/2021 - 4:31 pm

I tried to escape the rat race myself, dabbled in business and almost succeeded. However it’s very hard to beat the odds so I was dragged back to the working world and I realized I would’ve been further in life, if I stuck with it from the start.

Being in the working world is soul-crushing because most of us desire to be free of the influence of others and working to enrich someone else rather than ourselves.

When I ran my own business I worked twice as hard but I was happy because I was in charge of my life. Unfortunately it fell apart just as I started to get larger.

Perhaps what you need to do is take a year or two off and relax if you can. I was fortunate enough to do that myself and it made it easier to go back to the working world again.

Unless you have rich relatives who can bail you out or if you win the lottery, the vast majority of us are forced to work to survive.

I hated the last company I worked for and the smartest move I made was to leave them for a better company. I do less work now and have less stress at my new place.

You mentioned you’re in management, it’s something I’ll be doing soon possibly as well. It’s not easy but the pay is better. Also once you have some experience you can join another company and make much more money.

The key is to focus on your long term goal rather than the day to day grind. If you want to retire with a house of your own then you’d need a good paying job to get there.

I used to think 20 yrs was a long time and now I realized it’s nothing. What matters is where you want your life to be in 20 yrs and how will you get there. I wish I thought this way when I was younger and I would’ve been a lot better off.

So in sum consider a break/vacation, move sideways if you don’t like your present company. If you can get out of the corporate world and find an easier way to live more power to you.

postal 1/29/2021 - 2:18 am

Once you win the rat race, you still feel miserable.
A white picket fence life means nothing because the world is still a horrible place. I have that life. I hate it. It doesn’t feel any different. I want to die so badly. Life’s a joke. Like gambling. It just slaps you around and you never win haha.
I imagine the corporate world is not much different. the complications of having to have a place to “fit”
and the game of feeling around for what people really* want from you – overachievement – and it’s a gamble if they like you or not when you are overachieving for people you don’t know in a company you have high hopes for

postal 1/29/2021 - 2:24 am

But, you know, I’m someone that wants people around. I haven’t for a long time.
And feeling pain, months ago, this girl I once met online, drove by my work and called me every name in the book. All rejecting words, I start crying when I think of repeating them. Life just slaps you around, it isn’t even worth trying anywhere- and maybe your company is slapping you around. Or maybe you need to keep pushing, because you seem like you really want it, and you sound really put together for what you want. They like you a lot. There’s value to your presence there, right?

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