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Evil, incarnate

by fadedobscurity2

I am pure evil. I put on a show for people but secretly I wish everyone would just leave me the hell alone. Many years ago when I was in my 20’s, I sold my soul to the devil. I had a seance’, complete with candles the pentagram, the whole thing. Initially I didn’t think anything had really happened, but now I’m convinced I did what I intended to do, and there is no going back.

I sold my soul in exchange for health wealth and happiness. I lost everything and gained nothing. I’m not healthy, certainly not rich, and I’m not happy either. I’m convinced that this deed of mine has resulted in something similar to demonic possession. I think this because some things I think and do I wouldn’t have done prior to my deal with the devil.  He talks to me. Tells me to do things. Sometimes I do them sometimes I don’t. Sometimes he leaves me alone, but he’s here most of the time. He breathes in my ear. He’s a figure I see out of the corner of my eye. He torments me at night. He tells me I’m worthless and I believe him. He tells me I’d be better off dead and I believe him. He tells me my family would be better off without me and I believe him. He controls me. I’m tired of resisting. If I give in, I am afraid of what will happen. I know I’ll eventually kill myself, but I’m afraid of whet happens before that.


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thehusk 1/16/2021 - 6:39 am

Would someone who was ‘pure evil’ worry about what they might do? I’m kind of evil too – not because I sold my soul, but because my mind is contaminated with negative motivations and emotions, and I make bad choices in response.

If you believe in demonic possession, do you also believe in exorcism, or religious repentance? Hearing voices and seeing things that others can’t could also be a sign of a physical problem in the brain.

Yoges 1/16/2021 - 10:14 am

This doesn’t make sense to the rational side of my tiny brain but fuck it anything’s possible. I’m become so hollow inside that I hold no opinion either way.
There was a phase in my life some years ago when I worried over the idea of being haunted by a sex-crazed witch who was planting her sick fantasies in my mind. Most likely it was just me but hey, who knows what lies beyond our cone of vision, right?

mountaingoat 1/16/2021 - 7:24 pm

The devil didn’t fulfil the contract, so, don’t worry about it.

Christina_the_Cat 1/16/2021 - 11:05 pm

I’m in tears… I’ll pray for you, ok? As long as you’re alive, repentance is possible, just like it was possible for Mary Magdalene who had seven demons, for Peter who denied Jesus three times, for Paul who used to persecute Christians, etc. If there is a way in, there is a way out: nobody is sinful beyond God’s mercy, not even you. So stop listening to the devil. You know he’s a liar, a deceiver. He promised you health, wealth and happiness, but poisoned your heart, took your soul away and made you miserable.
Stay strong, don’t give up.

Sbilko 1/17/2021 - 11:59 am

Hi there, please know that it’s not too late. I would like to share with you the story of when a man gave his soul to the enemy, and how he was freed:

youtube. com/watch?v=GuQYlJ7UTtA

Sbilko 1/17/2021 - 10:05 pm

Fadedobscurity2, please forgive me for having shared the video with you, I only now read about your past trauma. I’m incredibly sorry that you suffered it, no 6-year-old should ever have to go through that, and no adult either; because that agonizing level of trauma is too much even for an adult, let alone a child.

You are an incredibly wonderful person, you did what many people would not be able to do: raising the children of your childhood 24/7 tormentor after she died. I believe in you, that you’re an incredibly good person, who was forced through a terrible environment of torture and pain, both physical and emotional. No, you are not evil, far from it; an evil person wouldn’t have had the heart of love to raise the 2 children. Please, do forgive yourself and others.

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