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Homeless and with no support

by elleInWi

My life has been a living hell since my mother died in my arms during our camping trip this past august. Then december hit and another bombshell hit me. My father sexually assaulted my son while i was either at work or sleeping when i got home from work. Been stuck in limbo with court. As well as finding a place for me and my kids to live. I wasnt financially prepared for this move. Both sides of the family turned their backs on me and my kids because of what my father did. My friends have deserted me because they wanna live happy drama free lives and i was ruining it with my problems. So me and my kids are now stayin in a homeless shelter. And they too have treated us like garbage. Food and drink is a hit or miss. Winter and pandemic have made it hard to go anywhere just for a sit down. Being with no car, taking a bus takes us forever to get to our destination. The fact that i have lost everything and everyone, has made me see death as an escape from this hell im living. Im cold hungry thirsty stressed sad depressed and lonely. But if i kill myself i wont have all that baggage mentally hurting me daily. Nor will i ever have to worry about where to sleep or go. The shelter therapist keeps tellin me to hang on and im like for what? Theres nothing there anymore. And dont use the fact that im a parent as a reason not to be free. Ive battled myself for 3 decades. And ive battled other people for 2 decades. I deserve to be at peace. I havent had a break in so long and no specialists have ever been able to help or cure or even distract me from these thoughts. Living is a punishment for me, i dont belong here, why cant they see that?!

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tired123 1/26/2021 - 11:46 pm

<3 Hang in. I have felt that way many times. It comes and it goes. Nothing is permanent it will get better. How old are your kids? My father did something like this to my girls. And I have been homeless. Dont give up the fight.
I have had the same feelings and thoughts for years and years. And have hung in there for my kids. Now my kids are grown my father passed away and I found the love of my life. I still have those thoughts but I have chosen to hang on. I pray it gets better for you soon.

Soda 1/27/2021 - 5:44 am

Desperate times call for desperate measures. You could try asking any close relative or friend to stay with them until you get on your feet…maybe live in their bsmt temporarily.

Offer to repay them when you are in a better position. Or at the very least if they’re safe/trustworthy and can take your kids for a while until you are more settled.

It’d also be good if you are able to get a car (or van) because it can open up other opportunities for you perhaps even for living in it. If you’re still working and have decent credit, you might qualify.

Try speaking with social services/welfare, they can provide you with money and maybe social housing.

Leave no stone unturned in trying to improve your situation. Oh and sorry about the loss of your mother…..I’m close to my mother who’s in her 70s and I don’t look forward to losing her. She’s one of the very few people that I like in my life.

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