So…..

I ended up telling my guy friend of like 5yrs now, that i love him, last night via txt. Its not uncommon for me to tell him the L word cuz he knows i do and usually he laughs it off or changes the subject. But this time was different. Still didnt get a response. I only felt like it was right to say it. Because the last 2 times we talked on the phone there was awkwardness n some dead air towards the end of our conversation nd it felt like 1 of us was tempted to say the l word before sayin bye. It was just that kind of vibe that i was gettin. So i felt like i should just say it because im a risk taker.

Eh idk maybe im just overthinking it like i always do. But i know for sure i didnt scare him off cuz our conversations have no limits, we have talked about anything n everything. From controverstial topics, to theories, to sex, to random ramblings when our mental illness takes the wheel n steers lol thats the best thing i luv about him. We can say whatever and not feel the need to hold back and we work through things if the topic hits our feels alil too much.

When we 1st met it was during our 7wk training and we hit it off so well that other people thought we were married or atleast already a couple lol thats the kind of person u wanna be with. Where it feels like u known eachother for a long time when u 1st meet. Right?