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The pit

by heartlessviking

Understand that we all inhabit the pit, every and any person who has no particular influence, or economic consequence. The difference between the people here, and the people I deal with every day is precious few of the general public know how little they matter, or in fact anything matters.

The pit is where society puts you when it wants to forget about you. Every tale of misery or sorrow I hear describes accurately the atmosphere of the pit; that place where you wake up and realize that the framework of lies you’ve been telling yourself doesn’t make it any less of a pit. There’s this weird human desire to not be in a pit…. as though life was supposed to be fulfilling, or have meaning. It doesn’t, not for such a vast majority of people that the exceptions are truly consequence of exceptional circumstance, wealth and luck.

I find myself useless. No more and no less than anyone else. I turned 33 today. 11 years ago my marriage fell apart, it was no escape from the pit either. Five years ago my latest escape evaporated, a career ended and it took me two years just to start down the path towards another career. Now I understand that even that was an exercise in futility. I can never be smart enough, hard working enough, or effective enough to get out of the pit. Everyone lives in the pit, and we comfort ourselves most of all by saying “This is how it is for everyone.”

Thus, I no longer care. I want the best compensation I can earn for my time, given that regardless of what I do it will assuredly be meaningless and pointless. I want out of the pit, and I am willing to pay whatever price it costs.

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