I am not well. I am not well. I wonder what this night will hold…Earlier today I wrote an elaborate email to a friend that I recently spoke to about my suicidal thoughts. It is a goodbye message. In a few minutes I will write one for my siblings, and they will be saved as drafts on my phone. This is all just too much for me. If things get bad, I’ll only need to press send. I am so anxious and afraid I’m shaking. I’m nauseous. I can’t think clearly. I want peace.