I am still alive, and feeling extremely awkward. For fifteen hours last Tuesday into early Wednesday, I sat with my g*n in hand, and couldn’t pull the trigger. I ended up at a local park with several cop cars there as they talked me down. I had to surrender my g*n to the police. Several posters commented on what I thought would be my final post, and I haven’t been able to post anything until today. Thank you for your comments….I don’t know what to say, other than I thought I was ready to die, but clearly I wasnt. Life is awkward and strange, and I’m ashamed.