I was at a party. Enjoying the company of my friends. I was so happy and excited. I even dressed up well for the occasion. Then, out of a sudden, I stopped smiling. I wanted to cry and scream. I went home feeling mad. Rapid thoughts. All I could understand was “I want to die.” I want to kill myself. For some reasons, the thought of it calmed me down and at the same time, exhausted me. I could not do it. Which is a good thing, I guess. I’m so tired. I’m going to sleep. Honestly, I hope I won’t wake up. My dreams are better than this reality nightmare.
2 comments
I can relate to this. It sounds like you had a really severe panic attack ): Especially with the rapid thoughts. Do you think something in the environment may have triggered it? Sometimes, I get triggered by something subconsciously and start panicking and the symptoms I experience are on par with what you just described. In those moments, I can’t even identify what upset me, why I’m upset, etc. If you have the energy, try to brainstorm and see if you can pinpoint a trigger. If not, it may have just been a spontaneous anxiety attack (a really fucking awful one from what you’ve described). I hope you experience some relief when you wake up.
Yeah, this has happened to me before. It sucks