FEELINGS TOO MUCH

I keep wondering am I the trouble one here. I don’t know. I’ve been trying to change myself from time to time but still, it wasn’t enough. I feel lonely even surrounded by people. I cant share my family problems with my friends because I don’t want them to be judgemental. I keep ignoring my problems. I hope that it will somehow be okay. And I can’t seem to get along with my family. I can see my brother sharing his problem with my father every time he’s home from work. But why do I don’t get the same treatment? And when I try to talk, my father would always argue with me – with my opinion and decision. I’m gonna admit that I’m actually a stubborn daughter but I don’t know anymore. And I can’t understand why I keep being sensitive with them – how they react around me and how they talk to me. I keep comparing myself with my brother. I would be crying afterward in my bed or the toilet. I want to be strong. It sucks to be weak. My parents told me before trying to be like my brother – always happy and not the one who always takes anything to his heart. So, I kinda try to change to that – so every time I feel hurt, I would just smiling and act normal. Then, I would cry alone. I don’t know, please help me. I’m getting sick with being emotional. I’ve been doing part-time jobs to reduce my time at home. But any suggestions on how to ignore my negative feelings? I hate this feeling.