people get pissed off if a SO were to say something like “im going to kill myself if…..” one would typically be right to be pissed about it. but what if it is the truth? what if that thing the person requires really would push them over the edge without it? well its not right to be mad at a person for hurting.
it creates a rather complex situation doesnt it….it makes my brain hurt…and basically forces the person to live in pain to save others
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you are encountering the paradox of the marginalized; vocal detractors towards the process known as living are considered less than, outside, unwell.
Simply by mentioning it, the culture that denies it wants to cast you as the breaker of the social contract. Why would you reach the point of pain to give such ultimatums? Now, I’m with you, when I say it, I very much mean it, and I don’t want attention or help. Yet, I can’t talk about it, hardly at all apart from with therapists. Because it’s a big secret, one that most people in my life are aware of but choosing to ignore; I’m clearly on my way out; though whether I am allowed an exit of culture and professional suicide as preference over biological suicide remains a hotly debated matter amongst the group of professionals that my culture has employed to keep me from doing as I wish. It would appear that there is big money to be had by keeping me complacent and docile. It is regrettable that my personality is such that as soon as I understand that, I am provided substantial reason to reject it. Nothing mainstream or normal has ever helped me, it is the wallpaper that hides the shame of our society, a sad song, the sadder if you knew the context.
Could not have said it better myself.