Today is your birthday. I know it has been very long since we last spoke but I at least want to say this year happy birthday Kimberly. I can’t reach out to you anymore through letters and I know I probably shouldn’t but just this year it is important for me that I get to say this though here at the very least.
You wrote in the very last letter you sent me that you hope that goodbye was not the last goodbye. That hopefully one day the universe could bring us back together again. I held onto that idea, even though I told you it was best for me to move on and have no more contact with you, I held onto that idea. The idea that two people who were once really close live different lives and have different experiences and then one day those two stumble upon each other some day later in the future. It would have been nice to catch up. I enjoyed the thought of such an event, but now I don’t know. I am afraid we won’t ever get that chance again. So if that is the case and you happen to still read my posts I’d like to leave you with this in lieu of the KitKat i’ll never get to send you again.
I absolutely appreciate having had you in my life those years that I did. They are the best years I can reminisce on. You said once that you are sorry for ever being the reason that caused me pain, please don’t think that. I felt pain because of my own personal issues with attachment. It was never anything you did. I wish I was a better friend to you. I was never supportive and I see that now. I don’t remember if I ever said or did anything to show support but I remember you opening up a few times and I can’t remember if I said anything to comfort you. I am so sorry for that, you deserved better and I am glad you found it. I’m sorry if my feelings in the past for you ruined the good thing we had. Like I said, my own personal issues with attachment. We once talked about sharing some drinks together and having a talk, I wish we had that talk. I wish our friendship didn’t have to end, you were and still are the most valuable friend I have ever had in my life. I am glad that the last couple of times we hung out were some great times. Walking around our hometown the weekend of the street fair and seeing the Pink Floyd concert, I will forever cherish those last couple times seeing you. I am sorry if the last letter I sent you caused pain. I think I was hurt and wanted to move on so bad I just didn’t think about how boldly I might have worded the letter. I am sorry I ever threw away all those letters from the past, I wish I could go back to those today. I appreciate all the good times we had, Kimberly. You absolutely my bestest friend, happy birthday Kimberly. I wish you a very happy experience on this journey called life.