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48 Hours later and with a plan

by ivygradhc

Well its been three days since my wife told me she is leaving and 2 days since I posted.

Yes.  I want to disappear from this world.  My wife’s news is the last straw.  All the negativity and violence in the news, all the it’s their fault, no its the other’s fault.   I cannot deal with this anymore.

At the time I did not have a plan to be a sure thing.   I am not going to overdose for attention, try to cut myself, nor can I use a method that has pain or fear unless it is instantaneous. (No jumping for me…)   Well  I now have a plan.   It will take a few days to get everything delivered (by Amazon of all places) to get everything in place (and no I will not share what I am doing) and I can then pick the right time after I have carefully cleaned up any of my affairs (Carefully so family members do not try to intervene) and I can then disappear.

Not much thought as to where I will go afterwards.   I had 4 surgeries in the past 5 years and each time when I was under it was blank.   When I woke up it was like the time of my first real memories.    I am hoping for that blank.

It will be this weekend when things will be ready.    I will thing this through between now and then but I am pretty sure where my decision will be as  I have the order for the supplies ready to go.

 

Any thoughts?

4 comments
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4 comments

system 4/12/2021 - 11:04 pm

Your wife does not deserve to take your life from you, nor does she have the right. I hope you will reconsider. I know I can’t really say much to change your mind (unless you want to hear it, then I’ll say a lot), but I really hope you find another way to combat this situation & the pain that comes with it.

blue_dude15 4/12/2021 - 11:41 pm

I really can’t say anything to make you feel better, but I really hope you won’t go. Please, try to take it one day at a time. You can live, I believe in you

Robert77 4/13/2021 - 4:23 am

Yeah Im going thru another split with my ex wife right now. It doesn’t get any easier and I think this is the 10th time. She is bipolar incase you need an explanation as to why so many times. I can’t help but love her. I can’t friken stop it. Its sucks so for right now Im staying on valium and they do the job. I hope you find something that works because its true shes is not worth it.

st 4/14/2021 - 7:54 pm

I am pretty desperate too man, the future holds no value to me at all and most likely will end up killing myself as well. But before you do anything think:

1. Your death will weight shortly on your ex-wifes soul, but forever in the soul of your loved ones.

2. Surely you can find another woman, even when the world is going to shit (No question about it). Leave town, change places…do not remain any longer in an infected souless grey city.

3. Go outside, smell the grass, watch the sun rise, observe the stars, pet a dog….life is unique in providing both pain and beauty, do not ignore the good things.

4. As animals, we are not designed to live like this…we are designed to roam free through the nature…run, hunt, fish…share food with our people next to a firepit…they took this away from you. Before you go, try indulging in those pleasures…you might change your mind.

I really hope I reach you in time and not another soul goes to waste.
Please do open you eyes, life is not this shit they are forcing on you, there is so much more.
Take care my friend!

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