Well its been three days since my wife told me she is leaving and 2 days since I posted.
Yes. I want to disappear from this world. My wife’s news is the last straw. All the negativity and violence in the news, all the it’s their fault, no its the other’s fault. I cannot deal with this anymore.
At the time I did not have a plan to be a sure thing. I am not going to overdose for attention, try to cut myself, nor can I use a method that has pain or fear unless it is instantaneous. (No jumping for me…) Well I now have a plan. It will take a few days to get everything delivered (by Amazon of all places) to get everything in place (and no I will not share what I am doing) and I can then pick the right time after I have carefully cleaned up any of my affairs (Carefully so family members do not try to intervene) and I can then disappear.
Not much thought as to where I will go afterwards. I had 4 surgeries in the past 5 years and each time when I was under it was blank. When I woke up it was like the time of my first real memories. I am hoping for that blank.
It will be this weekend when things will be ready. I will thing this through between now and then but I am pretty sure where my decision will be as I have the order for the supplies ready to go.