I HATE THIS SITE
i keep coming here because i’m hoping to see people post something like: “i was just kidding, i didn’t kill myself, i am going to make my life beautiful and reach for my dreams and become the best version of myself i could, i am not going to give up this easily”
but NO. no. not here. you people will never do this. this site is so full of negativity that i can’t take it. every time i come here i only get stressed and worry about everyone. i keep wanting to post a comment under every single post i see even though i know that a comment could never be enough. that i wouldn’t be able to even write a good comment. i am not good at that stuff at all. so then i just feel guilty for not being able to help people.
i have to leave this site and look for more positive places. few days ago i was happy, for half of a day or so, which didn’t happen in years. but this site just keeps bringing me down.
i want to erase the memory of this site. i want to unsee it. i want to travel back in time and give my past self everything that i learned from here and prevent myself from discovering this site. better yet, maybe i should go back in time and prevent people from ever even inventing suicide.
i don’t believe in suicide anymore. for a long time i was convinced that i would find a good argument for why i shouldn’t bother with life anymore. but all this thinking backfired. instead, it helped me remember who i am and what my dreams are.
yes. i am sorry to disappoint everyone. maybe i should just get banned for this attitude.
11 comments
Some people are beyond help and in some cases just refuse it. It’s nothing against you, there’s just some people you can’t help.
If this place is too negative then go find a more positive one however I don’t see why you need to take it out on hurting people like they’re going to magically wake up ok one morning.
Although if you want an “it’s fine” someone posted twice yesterday that they’re going to kill themselves then deleted it, posted something else this morning then deleted that as well. And considering all the non depressing stuff they post (kinda spammy considering), I’m not so sure how serious it was.
i should clarify because that did not come off right (sorry im drunk, high and feel horrible) when i said “go find a more positive one” i meant go find a more mentally healthy place for yourself rather then destroying yourself here if this is how you feel about it. (i hope that made it a little more clearer. im trying to not explain myself as much but considering the context here i thought i would)
This is me sort of: “i was just kidding, i didn’t kill myself, i am going to make my life beautiful and reach for my dreams and become the best version of myself i could, i am not going to give up this easily”
But it did not come in one sentence, or even in one day. I wasn’t kidding. I didn’t kill myself. Been in therapy for seven years to find out life does have beauty and ugly, not just ugly. I did not give up, but it did take a long time. The transformation you hope to see is happening but people who post the most are in the darkest part of their journey and their words match that feeling.
Hey, stick with us if you can, I have seen your comments and I know you really care.
God, I really agree. I find myself spending my energy explaining to a literal kid why it’s extremely unsafe to allow people to look for partners & methods on here, I find myself typing and deleting trying to find the right words to make someone stay, I find myself trying to push away the idea that suicide is an option for me. I’m here to record my progress, my racing thoughts, and my feelings.
An important thing I’ve taken away from your post is the fact that you’ve pulled yourself out of that hole where you can’t fathom ever being ok while you’re alive. You appear to see that there is a way to heal.
That makes me happy.
For me its like fighting fire with fire here. At least it helps me to not feel alone. I don’t watch news on TV but every once in a while I do and talk about negative yet the majority of the people stay glued to their boob tube and soak in all the negativity. When I get real down I listen to Alice and Chains or Soundgarden like “Fell on bad days” or AICs down in a hole. It makes me feel better.
I agree. Its tiring to reply to everyone, to try and make their life a bit better. Its tiring hoping that everyone’s okay. But I don’t blame anyone, I guess people need a place to vent. Thats why I’m here
But I do want to add that its ok if you need to leave this site , its completely understandable. While it can be helpful in some ways, it can also make things worse. Whatever you choose to do, I hope stuff gets better for you. I’m glad you’re feeling a bit better lately
Then why are you on this site? People like you are hypocrite, and I really hate people like that. The name of this website is SUICIDEproject, so what do you expect? People here talking about oh how “Life is beautiful! Life is a gift! Life is precious! Be grateful, be thankful! Live Laugh Love!” and all hundreds other blind optimism bias & positivity, happy BS? Are you stupid?
And actually, you will be surprised when I said that some (or even many) comments & people here are at least still trying to be “positive” in the sense that at least they’re still trying to be helpful, be friendly, & even giving some useful advices, & hope.
You’re lucky that nowadays I also rarely posts nor left some comments here in this site, because you will NOT see any positivity/optimism bullshits from me. We can argue & debate all day long if you want, but my conclusion is clear: this life is NOT a gift; Life is a curse.
Congratulations if you’re not depressed & suicidal anymore (while other people here are still depressed & suicidal), but don’t come here saying stupid things.
I don’t think that’s what OP meant (OP, correct me if I’m wrong). The hostility in your comment is also really uncalled for.
OP isn’t trying to force false positivity on people, they’re simply saying that it’s emotionally stressful to be here as someone who *wants* to get better/make progress and be surrounded by so many others who refuse to try and use rhetoric that insinuates that nobody should try because there is no point. This doesn’t mean that OP isn’t struggling. This doesn’t mean that OP is no longer depressed. They just happen to want to climb as far as they can out of the hole that they’re in.
Nowhere in this post did OP spout anything about how people should “be grateful” or say anything like “live laugh love”. OP mentioned things about WANTING to make their life beautiful, wanting to improve to the best of their ability. OP hoping for others to be able to reach the point where they begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how far away, isn’t them being insensitive, it’s them being hopeful. And sometimes, hope is all that we have.
To answer your question: no, OP isn’t stupid.
Please realize that some (if not most) people are here to heal, not to intentionally bathe and marinate in their misery.
You’re not obligated to reply to this. Have a nice night/day.
I completely understand. I had to take a break from this site for awhile numerous times. No judgement here, go and enjoy whatever beautiful days are comin. Spring is about new beginnings 😉