Live in the present moment, no time no space just yourself and your surroundings. Breathing in the same air the same environment. Not knowing the known. Erasing the the way of living that was taught since birth.
“imagine what would it feel like to be In peace?” Freedom, gratitude? What are those really like? How come these thoughts Always Intrigues my mind… Is it because I’m so used to the pain suffering that I’ve caused myself.
Easily influenced by the outside world. But hard headed when it comes to Helping myself. Thinking about not deserving to have that kind of life which I desire.. sad truth. I don’t feel like I belong anywhere close to it.
Hiding the mental pain burying it deep inside. Telling myself. Aye why didn’t you die?! Nobody gives a fuck about you!!! Self-blaming oneself to remind why I ended up the way I am. Hopefully yearning every second it will be your time to go. Constantly fighting a losing battle. The cycle repeats. The voice’s lurks waiting for the right time to attack. If there was a deep trench digger deep. I could probably fill it up to the brim.. silently suffering. Quietly hurting..