So I’ve been thinking. And thinking. And it’s hard to stop. This month, I just can’t keep someone I knew out of my head. I miss the good moments of our friendship. Fortunately, there was a lot of those. I’d love to make up for loss time but I feel like the time is so far gone, so what’s the point now? I’m afraid it’s because I’m lonely that I’d reach out. The questions that will come out or lack thereof…I know I’m selfish and inconsiderate so I think it’s crossing the line if I apologize now. And we’re both adults, so we don’t have time like we used to if we make up. Sounds more like an excuse. The past finally caught up to me. In the end, it’s completely my fault that I ended it. I thought it was okay – that I was okay at the time – but I’ve been reflecting and it was anxiety all along. Anxiety made me lose my best friend, and it’s hard to accept that even now. I feel fake and I’m disgusted with myself. At least he seems to be doing a lot better than me which is a relief.
7 comments
You should say all of these things to the friend that you miss. Just completely honest with them. They are the perfect words for such a scenario.
How would you start? I think of a text followed up with a phone call since they live out of state. But I’m not sure how I’d open the conversation. I’d avoid the scary “hey, we need to talk” phrase for sure lol.
I’d start out by confessing how much they really mean to you, and going from there. It’s obvious you’re hurt by the disconnect. I’d be open and admit that
“Hey. I know its been a while, but I’ve been thinking. And the truth is that I really miss you.” Something like that.
Hi, this is just an opinion but I think your mind may be playing tricks on you. Loneliness and depression has a way of re-wiring our memories. We start thinking the future is hopeless and the past was better than it was. We start second guessing every relationship that ended, blaming ourselves and wondering “what if”. But the truth is, if the relationship ended 4 years ago and neither person bothered to reach out to the other (neither apology nor forgiveness), then it probably wasn’t an ideal relationship or at least not as ideal as your mind is tricking you into thinking.
Again, this is just an opinion and I could be way off. But I’ve been where you are, reached out, sometimes even tried to re-start old relationships, but every time it ends as it did the 1st time. Nowadays I’m trying hard to let go of the past and focus on new friends, new experiences. I don’t know if that’ll be any better but at least no one has a strike already against them.
PS I don’t know where I got “4 years” from, I think I saw it in another post. But if X years have gone by with no contact, might be best leave it. Like you said “it’s because I’m lonely that I’d reach out.”
Dont let your mind prevent you from doing somethin. Your friend needs to hear what u gotta say, dont doubt yourself.