I’ve been awake for a few hours now, and was able to force myself to eat something despite not having an appetite whatsoever. To be honest I’m glad I did I feel a lot less lethargic. I don’t know if I’m depressed, suicidal, or just mentally fucked up at this point. Or maybe I see the world for what it really is. What I do know is my experience in this world isn’t enjoyable, I don’t have the worst life, definitely not the best. Which I beat myself up about sometimes because people do have it worse. I don’t know, I just honestly don’t know. What I do know, is that I don’t want to be here.