We all die alone. More or less. Maybe someone is there to hold your hand at the end. But you are alone in experiencing death. It’s scary, but it’s the same for everyone.
What I’m doing is living alone, for however long I live, and that fact makes me so much sadder. I will never connect with anyone. I will never care for anyone. I will never let anyone into my life. If I live a normal lifespan, no one will come to my funeral.
It’s such a waste. But I just can’t. I can’t be real with anyone, ever. I can’t be ‘myself’, because ‘myself’ is a fucking asshole. I am not fit for human company.