So Gary doesnt want me. He more than likely sees me as a freeloader since i said i was tryin to get on disability. No mf, because ive had 5 diff jobs in 1 yr thanks to my paranoia!!!! Im gettin older and my mental illness gets crazy at times n i cant afford to lose more jobs n be discriminated against so ssi is there for a safety net reason!!! Not so i can sit at home forever. Fml im so tired of men and their assumptions of me, treatin me like sh*t, makin me begged to be loved because apparently im unloveable cuz who would want a fat crazy b**** like me?! I have nothin to offer, no1 wants me other than a quick screw, im basically trash. My purpose is short lived n i get thrown away, recycled and used again for all eternity. I hate me, i hate what i am, i hate how i look and its men like you Gary who make me question my self worth n who made me believe that u might actually like me. Shame on me for assuming u did, i should of known better. Men are the reason women are crazy, bitter n have trust issues. I never had this when i dated women. Why? Cuz the communication was open and real no matter how much it hurt. Wanna use me? Fine then use me for 1 nite. But stop makin me put my guard down if you dont intend to actually be with me. Its that simple idk why men make it so hard when its not.