i am leaving for a lake trip i guess thats what i could call it.. ill leave in a few hours since its kinda morning now. i have my stuff packed but eh i dont feel to good about it if im being honest, like i had a idea for me and my little brother to go sleepover at our grandparents tonight so we can all just leave together in the morning but i had a freak out (totally my fault..) and called my parent/s to pick me up while my brother stayed the night. me and brother birthday is also the day after we leave.. fun.. ive had a idea for awhile even before i met a person with selective mutism, that i just want to go quiet. ill feel stuck in my head but i wont have a issue with that lol. i mean the only thing that has me like kinda iffy with it is me sticking up for my little sister at school, the whole reason im even slightly aggreeing to go back to this stuck up, shitty towns school. i want to protect her and yell back at a couple people because the past years ive never been able to stick up to my bullies.. i dont know why i want to now, i guess its just all the built up rage. i- i dont know anymore.
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sorry to hear about it. Only because it has to be said to me often enough; it feels like you are a little scattered. It reads like getting near any severe emotion makes you lock up, and change the subject.
Let the momentum take you. If there’s an option not to go, do that and don’t beat yourself up about it. If going is unavoidable, do that and stay low energy the whole time. You can coast through a day on less energy than it takes to eat breakfast.
When you get back, maybe talk some more about what’s going on, and where new coping skills are necessary. Let tomorrow worry about tomorrow, keep your eyes locked on the present, that’s the only part you can change.