Hi to anyone reading. First time here and I like to see it as some sort of sign, to know people like me exist. Constantly feeling alone. I’ve only been to therapy once and ever since then I feel like I’ve left a part of myself in that dreaded room. I have no real direction – a purpose to keep moving forward. I only have my hobbies and very few people in my life that keep me sane. However, the societal pressure to have financial goals, status, etc…it’s not for me. It never has and I’m afraid it never will. I would rather be in solitude in a cabin or farm with animals and nature as company. I’m just me and as I got older, I realize that’s not enough. Recently, I noticed that my close friends will never understand this side of me. They just see me as a deep thinker, a bit edgy but goodhearted. But I can never share to them what you are reading right now, and that makes me sad. I wish Anxiety and Depression would leave me be, but they’re what I know best. Sometimes the worlds I escape to in my mind is better than reality. I think people put up with me or are used to talking to me like I’m part of their routine. I think they’re tired of me, and I understand that since I get tired of myself too.
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Welcome Sparkle Cat!
This is the exactly the place for people like us. It feels good to share your true feelings here, feelings and thoughts you feel like you can’t share with anyone you know. And geting a reaction from real human people who don’t judge, and can often even relate to what we share.
I am curious of what you mean by ‘that dreaded room” maybe the psychologists office or something deeper? Also I can relate to the feeling of loneliness among close people such as frieds and family. Sounds to me like you deserve a holiday, somewhere out of town where you can relax for a bit, ”bring a good book” if you’re into reading.
Also, I like your name 🙂
Thanks for the warm welcome! I did make time to relax while I was away from here, so it did help. Anyway, I described the room like that because it was the first time I was truly vulnerable to someone. Laid out all my fears and the small details that are me only to leave it there with someone that made me feel unsupported and guilty. “This will pass, it’s like a phase.” It was hurtful.
Hi there, I don’t know how old you are but your post reminded me of a movie called “1987” about an intelligent 17 year old kid who thinks it’s ridiculous that society expects humans to have their entire future planned out by age 17 (graduation). It’s a good point. And it sounds like you’re being pressured by the same arbitrary deadline to suddenly be an “adult” even though barely 1/5 of your life has passed.
Also the irony is that what you said (“I would rather be in solitude in a cabin or farm with animals and nature as company”) is what every adult wants to do when they hit age 65 so what’s with the unnecessary 50 years of struggling with ‘success’?
I just wanted to say try not to let them beat you down, regardless of what age you are. You’re in the right. You should be allowed to take your time and live at your own pace because it’s your life. If your friends don’t understand, time to get new friends 😉 Easier said than done I know. But it sounds like you’ve got a clear head on your shoulders so stay true to that.
I’ve tried to find that movie but I haven’t come across it sadly. Thank you for your help. It is my life and sometimes I lose control of it when my mental health is in the mud. But it’s a great reminder to keep on living. Hope things are alright with you!
Welcome, Sparkle. It’s nice to meet you.
I can relate to a lot of the stuff you’ve mentioned. Sometimes we get so used to anxiety and depression that we still don’t want it, but it’s scary to not experience it anymore because it’s what’s familiar. At least, I’ve experienced that.
I hope, if anything, you’re able to use this place to feel a little less alone.
Thank you for the kind words. This place is like a comfort zone. Just being ourselves and not be seen as an outcast is a plus. I hope you’re doing well!
<3 <3 <3
lots to say… but, for now, just a check… all okay Sparkle Cat?
Hey! Thanks for checking in. Since I’ve logged off, I’ve been handling my health by exercising and doing photography. All good from my end so far. Hope your night/day is going great! 😀