I overheard my mom talking about my mental state (because it had gotten so bad at this point, that I have to come back home for a while) and at that moment I felt like such a burden. She clearly said that I was too much for her right now with her new job and her mom also being in an old peoples house. My dad never even called me when I was in the hospital for 5 days. I don’t understand why they brought me into this world if I’m just gonna be a burden to them their whole life. I didn’t want to be here in the first place so why am I staying here for them if they don’t even bother with me and I probably bring them more weight than happiness. And once again, it just sucks to be here for other people because I don’t want to be here for myself. They probably fucked me up so bad and that’s why I struggle now at finding peace with myself and with being alive. Am I ever gonna be able to heal from an absent father and a mother in constant denial about my depression? How am I supposed to heal if the only figures in my life don’t even want me. I’m just tired.