I was procrastinating on my homework when I came across this website. I’m writing this all off the top of my head so just stand by. So I read so many peoples stories on here and noticed one thing, everyone on here is going through the SAME THING. I myself often have bad mental health and breakdowns, but you know what? nobody is perfect. AND DON’T SKIP, I know everyone uses this as a pity sentence but just spend a minute of your life reading this because you need to open your eyes. Think to yourself, do you think there is a single person on this earth who has NEVER been sad? or insecure? do you think everyone else is happy except for yourself? I completely understand what you’re going through but you need to understand that we’re put on this earth for a reason, idc if its god or the big bang but it’s amazing how there’s so much stuff out there in the big universe and we EXIST in it – why would you blow that all off just because a few people in your small town insult your looks? When I’m feeling down, my mindset is not “poor me” or “I’m never going to be happy” (although it used to), instead you should think “I control myself, I can do literally anything i want”. WHO controls you other than yourself? Well other than certain parents/gaurdians and the law, you can do anything you imagine… if you want to be a singer, start practicing. If you want to be a scientist, get on with it. If things were easy, life would be hella boring. When you look at other people, do you think “omg they’re super ugly, they shouldn’t exist on this earth, they’re worthless, they will never be happy, they should k*ll themselves, etc.”??? If anyone ever actually thinks that…that would be a mental problem of their own. But literally y’all need to quit being self-centered because your life is in your own hands. yes, some people may seem to have it easier BUT many people also tend to be better at hiding their personal problems. Another thing to keep in mind is that good ALWAYS comes after bad, everybody has ups and downs, some will have it worse, but everybody is different. You shouldn’t let yourself get down so easily, you shouldn’t end it all because of a person who appears prettier because you literally do not know what they are going through. Prettiness isn’t everything, and there are almost 8 billion people on this earth, you will find your crowd + people who accept you.
+ when I’m at school I’m usually on the more quiet side bc I genuinely cannot bring myself to speak up, but instead I hear in on everyone elses conversations and actually half the time they’re complaining about… “ugh my period cramps are the worst like the teachers don’t understand what I’m going through” … or “I am not having it today ugh I hate school and I’m probably the only one struggling here” or “you’re lucky you have good grades, it’s hard being me.” okay yes school sucks but if nobody went we’d all be crackheads & we all need some typa smarts to get a job. I’m sorry I literally hate school too but we’re not going here to complain, and it’s a bit selfish to project your problems onto others being ignorant of how you might affect them. It seems like a majority of people like to one-up others with their problems to get attention/validation (not EVERYONE, but that’s what it seems like from my perspective). But what my point is… is that everybody has SOME type of struggle not just you!!!
I’m almost done just wait – here’s some things I do when I’m not feeling great:
+I spend hours on pinterest making boards of pictures that motivate me or comfort me + I also save pins of certain guys? don’t ask. But just completely random pics like these bring me serotonin + hope + motivation b/c I’m shaping out how I want MY lifestyle/aesthetic to be!
— notion is a planning app and it’s an aesthetically pleasing way to get work done
— cute things
— coffee bc I’m obsessed
— art inspo, even tjough i can’t draw for the life of me
— TXT w/ their plushies just automatically making me happy
+I may be dragging this on way too long but some other things that make ME happy: coffee, kpop, dancing, drawing, video editing, thinking about when winter comes around and I can be lazy in my warm blanket drinking hot coco or coffee and watching movies, and lastly blasting music in my room. Even if I’m terrible at half the things I listed, it’s something I enjoy doing so that’s all that matters. Nowwww it’s your turn to find things that make brighten your mood! unless ofc you prefer to sit there and complain about everything forever (not an option babes). the trick is to romanticize your life and think about how you wish to be until you make it to your goal. I’m not making random pinterest boards for nothing…
+By tomorrow It’s very likely that I’ll be bawling my eyes out & letting my insecurities take control but just think about the big picture and how you’ll be a year from now, or even twenty years from now – you will be proud of yourself by then.
+And social media is fun and all but I have come to the realization that it’s really just a place to express yourself, and some others are just there to get all droopy and sad over the “confident” people. Now why would everyone get on the app and just post about their terrible problems and vent and cry? Exactly, not everyone does that… so how would you know that you have it the worst? I like going on tiktok b/c I found online friends who like the same things i do (kpop fanpage ofc) & it’s entertaining. I skip all the videos of people doing some kind of thirst trap to show how pretty they are (no offense at all! I’m not saying they are the responsibility for other’s insecurities, but many people do have a hard time with that)
I just typed out this full essay instead of finishing my actual English homework so y’all should especially listen to what I am saying and make the best out of what you have. Best wishes, Z.
8 comments
hey, I think it’s actually amazing how you’ve developed healthy coping mechanisms. it’s great that you believe someone can improve their live. and I agree! bad things are a part of life, but so are good things! sometimes you need to just stop and distract yourself from things that are making you upset.
but, I think you’re maybe misunderstanding the point of this site. while positive thinking is a good way to cope, it’s not healthy to ALWAYS be positive. it’s equally important to acknowledge the bad things in your life instead of just suppressing them. romanticizing every single aspect of your life can be a good short-term fix but in the long-term it’s unlikely to help you truly heal.
it might seem like the people on this site are always complaining because that’s the point. this is a place to vent, to complain in a healthy way. you mention that people in your class are always complaining. it gets annoying when someone you know always seems to be upset. well, instead of complaining at my school or to my friends all the time I come here, because I know it’s a safe place to express all my feelings without making others uncomfortable.
also, the people on this site don’t just spend all their time wanting to die. people have good days, too. but they usually don’t mention it here, because on a good day they wouldn’t need to make a post. this is a forum strictly for talking about what’s making you upset. it would be a little weird to talk about your hobbies, for example.
you also mentioned how you shouldn’t think the world revolves around you, and how everybody has their problems. I agree, some people are narcissists, period. but you focused more on wanting to kill yourself because you think you’re ugly or because school’s hard. the thing is that’s not the only reason people are suicidal. some people are in abusive relationships for 10 years. some people have chronic fatigue that makes it literally impossible to get out of the house. some people are r*pd. it’s not self-centered to struggle with these problems for years, or even the rest of your life. yes, at some point you have to make an effort to get better, but it’s not always easy to move on. healing doesn’t always mean just changing your mindset; it might involve professional help or getting the police involved (which is an entirely different can of worms). my point is, telling someone that they can fix all their problems just by being positive isn’t always helpful.
again, I’m not trying to fight with you. I agree with a lot of the things that you say. I just wanted to give you a different perspective on things.
oh yeah forgot to say this but notion looks really cool I think I might try it out, studying is hard :’)
I would certainly say someones perspective about all this is a little bit off. And that’s ok. We are not all understood by everyone. I’ve spoken throughout the years to others about their posts and for myself through my posts. I know others posts or comments to my posts have actually helped me or enlightened me. It has created solid friendships that ultimately were positive and helpful for us both. Not all, but a lot of those posts are about a lot more then just someone trying to grab attention, or just a “woah is me” kind of thing. I seriously do appreciate you taking the time to read some of the posts and also writing this one with your thoughts. Thank you. I hope things continue to go well for you.
Hey there! Thank you for sharing your input on this website and about the people who post in here. Personally, a lot of the things you said kind of triggered me and made me feel a bit sad and misunderstood. I think what disciple of Atropos said was very well formulated and while I’m sure your intentions were good, I feel hurt. Depression (or other mental health issues) is something way more complicated than complaining about your insecurities and just feeling sad. It’s a constant daily struggle, that most of us go through on this page I think. I just want to share my point of view and say that it’s not always about “being positive”. You can’t just say to someone who’s hurt to just stop hurting. Healing is a long process and while doing things that you enjoy can be a good distraction, sometimes these things aren’t even enjoyable anymore and it feels like there’s not point in doing it. I’m sorry if this offended you or anyone else. But it’s this type of thinking that sometimes throws me off the edge. And I’m kind of tired of constantly hearing that. I just want people to take my illness seriously and stop saying that it can just be cured with positive thinking.
Like mentioned above, I do not wish to fight, just bring my perspective and perhaps make you understand that it’s not that easy.
This is just super inappropriate. It’s toxic positivity. I’m depressed because of anything anyone has said about me. I’m depressed because of regular everyday issues. I’m depressed because my brain is fucked. I’m depressed because I can’t summon the energy, no matter what I tell myself, to get regular everyday shit done. In fact, at this point in my life, the only people I even see are my wife and children. No one is criticizing me in any way. I’M unhappy with myself. I’M incapable of functioning without medication that I can’t access and that makes me completely numb. So I have the choice of feeling everything intensely or feeling nothing at all.
You make depression sound really superficial.
“Everyone is going through the same thing” “You are not alone” these notions – for me – feel like a fob off: “We all have to deal with the same shit, get over yourself, everyone is familiar with it and like accepting 50 yeard of repetitive work we have no real solutiuons (don’t want them) so we just have to accept it all and not find ways to healp eachother”Those notions are essentially shrugging the drive to find a real answer.
Fact is: many of us here didn’t choose to be born but were lobbed with this life.
Bigger fact: you mentioned how we could do everything other than parents/guardians and (stressing this one): THE LAW — the system built to keep us worrying about money repeating the same week for half a century being farmed for tax. 5.1 million square km and most of us get a 36 square meter room and perhaps a 5 meter square cubile in which we are forced to spend 90% + of our adult lives numbing the pain with internet addiction.
You suggest valid coping strategies but the big picture – to me – when viewed in proper detail shows how our lives are purpose built for misery.
I’ve raised kids, had a few fun and exciting careers, lived times in my life that others are jealous of, I’m good looking and skinny (that seems to be important to some people, not me, just good genes), but I am still seeing zero reasons to keep inflating the superficial happy go lucky bullsh*t like Pinterest etc advise you give. There is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. There’s grief to the rainbows ending and memories. That’s it. I sifted through all the fun memories and sat in gratitude over and over. It’s gotten old.
What brought me to this site was a Google search on starving myself to death. I want to not exist anymore and I need my departure to be clean and painless for my grown adult children. I sadistically hope my mother is caused a massive amount of pain from my death and finally have to face it to the world and mask she hudes behind. But she’ll be fine too.
Reality is I have 2 choices, die and hurt others or stay alive and love with deep pain no matter what new hobby I take on and have a limited amount of fun with. I have done, and succeeded in, a million artistic hobbies that leave my friends amazed. But why? To express myself and still be misunderstood?
Your post is cute at best, heavily offensive at worst. I too procrastinated in school when I had a task to finish. It’s an unhealthy coping mechanism that only gets you in a place of beating the clock to meet your deadline and you’ve used and exploited this forum all the while.
With all that said, your tactics are correct and do work…. if one wants them to. Everyone here probably already knows these tactics are tired of faking it just to live another day of the rat race.
Powerful